okay. you know, i think i would be okay, for the most part, if my friends would support the new theory. they all tell me i'm stupid. well, not exactly like that, but still. they don't get it. i see how some of them fight or some of the awful things they say to their H's and I'm like "!!!!!!" Not that I say squat, because look at my own stitch.
talked to mil tonight and it was a good convo. i told her i was sorry for being short last week, that i didn't want to be, but that H had asked me to not discuss our R with her and that it was hard for me. but then I talked to him again and told him I didn't think it was fair and he backed down. So we talked for about an hour tonight. It is nice to hear her knock this Obtrusive Wench. (What were you saying about anger, J???!! :P) But at least MIL knows how I feel about OW being in her home. Told her how I felt about "What if we get back together and I have to sleep in that bed??!!" She said real quick "I'll help you burn it." lmao. She says H has always been a pouter since the day he was born. Says she loves me and doesn't want our conversations to stop. She likes other daughter-in-law, but has reserves about her because those two just always seem to be in SOME sort of trouble. Drinking, piercing, failed jobs, the list goes on. Just always some drama, whereas with H and I, she always knew things were going to be okay. Except for this. She said again that he is still hurt (but she also quickly acknowledged that sooner or later he is going to have to get back up and dust himself off) and it was nice to hear that. Also hard for him to trust again. I understand how he would feel that way. Talked to her about H's triggers for drinking and talked about me realizing that I had triggers, too and what actions both of us can take to manage ourselves.
She did mention something, though, J, that you mentioned...did you say "false pride"? I'm gonna look up exactly what it is after I leave here. I know, I should know. But what I think it is and what it is are prolly different. MIL mentioned something. She said she worried about his pride getting in the way. To which I said, yes, I can understand that, but does he want to be married or does he want to be right. I didn't say it, but you know what, I have put EVERY LAST OUNCE OF MY EFFING pride aside to R with him. It prolly would have been EASIER to just walk out and keep on walking, but IT WASN'T THE RIGHT THING TO DO. So here we are.
MIL is good for getting dirt on OW, did I mention that. I know it's snarky, but it makes me feel better, so...who cares? Who among us could really say we don't want to hear snarky things about OW??!! Anyway, MIL said next time they come down, she wants us to take Clay and just go do girl stuff. So that will be nice. OW thought she was going to do that with MIL and MIL was like, uh, no, I hate you. She was only a LITTLE bit nicer than that. Thought it was interesting that she said he was a pouter growing up. She loves him dearly, I know, but I don't think she's as wrapped as I thought she was. With material things, yes, she probably is because she never had stuff growing up. But she called him on some things (to me) tonight that she didn't have to. The pouting. The dusting himself off. She, too, is worried that someone will file a complaint, and H will lose his career. But she told him and he tells her that everyone knows about it and is okay with it. She knows better but she also realizes that sometimes, you can't tell him anything. You know what I thinks he gets out of OW, because of something MIL mentioned. She said he took in OW because she needed a place to stay. So he rescued her. And H is a big rescuer. He sent $$$ home to his brother to help pay for vehicles being repo'ed, etc. He has no boundaries when it comes to rescuing.
Anyway. I am off to read more threads.
J, I signed up for facebook. It is not under Mellenmack. Is there a group or something that I could ask to belong to that you belong to? Ahh! Have a thought, but need to carry it out. Will let you know.
M
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
