You have all the power you want. Newbies don't realize this, most old timers don't either. You have all the control. You're still marrried or not married because of your decision to either dig your feet in and not get divorced or to sign papers.
You feel like crap because you decide too.
This is one of your themes that I agree with. We do have the power over OUR lives. There is no debating that. It's true.
Too often Jack, you push the 'punish her' agenda. On most of my threads your posts address the 'what if she f-cks' another man again, will you kick her to the curb?'
Jack, I love you as much as you say you love me. Maybe more. I need to tell you that the reason I had a meltdown last month was because I trusted your opinion, which was told to me from the perspective of 'will you put up with this or be a man'. Yet it was in conflict with AmyC's and 25yearsmlc. They wanted me to APPRECIATE that she was stepping up to the plate.
I submit that there is a middle ground. It is 'will you be a man and set boundaries'. Will you be the rock and create a foundation for your family.
Jack, I see so much anger in you from the destruction your W sowed in your boys and your life.
Not everyone should push the 'I will make you accountable whether you like it or not' agenda.
Not all WAS's will respond to that.
Some, like my W, are damaged and need to be 'led' out of the swamp and into the light. WE are 'light workers'. That's why we are here.
There is a balance in our lives. I'm proud, no honored to know you. Look at what I say and consider that I see your life from the outside looking in.
