Puppy, I have to ask you this. I know you know most of my stitch. At this point, H has an OW living with him who he says he's not sleeping with. Me, C, and inlaws agree. However, there is some impropriety there as he took her home for Christmas at his parents. His parents don't like her at all and want him to work it out with me. He is USAF and it is flatly against USAF policy for two USAF members to be living with each other and married to two other people. I don't want to make trouble for H. Don't want him to lose his career over it, but not sure how much longer I can put up with him giving this girl a home. I'm not sure what/how to do expose or whether to let it go, since I had my own A. Not that he is entitled to one, but if I expose, he is going to blame me to the end, even though he is the one that made the choice. I know what you are going to say. I hate that, because I am scared to death it will drive him away forever. But his failure to realize what he is doing is killing me. So do I call the IG and file a formal complaint that will harm him careerwise, or, do I just call the 1st shirt who knows and approved this behavior and threaten to report her (the shirt) to IG. Then she has to do something about it.
Sorry to hijack, Still. I have told him how I feel about her over and over again, but he still chooses her over the M. He says he wants a D, but doesn't want to rush into a D. Or, I could tell him that if he doesn't get her out, I will call IG. At least then he has a chance, but he will be mad at me. At least he will probably respect me though. Maybe. I dunno.
Advice? Feel free to respond, Still, if you want, too. God, I hate what I did, and what I have created.
Melissa
Melissa,
There's no way I can answer that for you. Exposure is a personal decision, and there are reasonable people who disagree both ways. It definitely speeds things up in most cases (not all), but it also greatly adds to the damage that then has to be repaired.
