What's driving me crazy is that I keep thinking that the longer it goes, the more she'll forget about when she had the feeling. Perhaps I'm fooling myself, it sounds like she already has erased all the good memories.
No, the more you pressure and pursue her, the more you confirm and justify for her the bad feelings she has right now. If you leave her alone, the bad feelings will subside and chances are the good memories will come back.
The S is not ideal, because more often than not it leads to D. But if you cannot stop pursuing her, if you cannot GAL with her around you, if you cannot develop a PMA living in the same house with her, it may be the best for you right now. You need to save yourself first, and maybe as a by-product you save your M as well.
You come across very anxious, and I am sure your W feels that, too. And it pushes her away. You will fix nothing fast. It is a marathon, not a sprint. You will have 2 years to fix yourself. The faster you get there, the more time it leaves for your W to recognize these changes and for both of you to get back together.
To be very blunt, I think your MC sessions together may be counterproductive, unless you have a really good counselor like MWD describes them. I did not believe it either at first, but I feel very lucky that my W backed out of our first session last minute and we both have been going to IC. In fact, we have not had a single MC session together, but I think we have come a long way since then. We are now ready to go to Retrouvaille together, and there might be a real chance of putting our M back together.
AN
M43 W45, M17 S9 D6 Bomb: 11/11/08 EA: 10/26-12/31/08 ? Retrouvaille: 2/13-2/15/09 Healed, but still heading for D My situation
