Hey Rob, I want to clarify something to you. I said don't date, that does not mean do not go out and have fun. It does not mean do not go to bars and dancing. It means do these things as a married man. Social interaction can do wonders for self esteem and in keeping your morale up.

Believe me, it has the same affect on the WAS to see you getting dressed up to go out even if your intentions are pure. Just as you have no idea what she is doing when she goes out, she has no idea about you either.

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I am definitely impatient, I want my marriage back now, yes it's me being honest and it is hard living without my family the way I had pictured it.


I am in no way a bible thumper, in fact truth be told I am a reformed Jew. However, I want to recommend that you read the story of JOB, old testament. Or you can get the book "Why bad things happen to good people" by Harold Kushner and focus on chapter one. It's about building patience through faith and trust in a higher power.

After doing this for over a year I am sure you are aware that this is all about patience and faith.

As far as how you are feeling about the positive attention, you have to change your mindset and understand that they flip like a light switch. You have to lower your expectations and enjoy the moments that you do get without expectations of anything more. If you cannot do that then you need to set some personal boundaries of how far you will allow it to go without having a negative affect on you.


Take care Rob and focus on what you can change, accept what you cannot, and try your best to recognize the difference.



Ian


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09