Exposing at EA

[Still Waters]

So my W's family finally confronted her today about the A. They did this after one of my W's sister's called me to talk about it and I suggested that I should tell my W's dad. I hadn't told him yet.

Well the sister suddenly flipped about that. She said that they would never forgive me if I told my W's dad about her affair. She said I would burn a bridge. I told her I didn't understand how me telling a man the truth about what his daughter had been up to would be burning a bridge. She said he wouldn't be able to handle it and that I should let my W tell him. My W has been having an affair for 4 months and she never told a soul. What makes them think she'll start being honest now?

So the sister decided to then call my W and expose the affair and get it out there and give her a chance to tell their dad. I don't know how my W reacted, but I imagine she's devastated. She built up this wall of denial in her head about the A, and now it's out there. Really out there.

So I'm worried. Worried that this exposure will send my W into a total breakdown. Could I have handled it better? I guess I could have done nothing and not exposed to her family. But I'm worried about my W. The last two times I saw her she was an emotional wreck, badly in need of a therapist and probably meds. And since I couldn't make her get the help she needs, I hoped her family could.

I don't know. Her sister said she felt like I was manipulating her, and said that all I wanted was for my W to get the help she needs. Did I try to convince her family to be the ones who stepped in? Yes. But what else could I do? Watch my W slowly self-destruct?

My W's sister made me feel like I was trying to hurt my W. Trying to get revenge by exposing and not letting my W come clean on her own. I just don't see how that would have happened.