1) It's ok to be both. 2) stop feeling sorry for yourself, and life improves. 3) it's ok to feel sorry for yourself for a LITTLE while. 4) screw everyone and be selfish.
1) Good because I don't think I will ever change. 2) Ouch... 3) I'm working on that. I just have up days and down days. I am feeling sorry for myself because I have made so many changes in my life in the last few days and I am trying to adapt to them. 4) Mach won't let me screw anyone...he says I have to leave my phone down and I can't make any calls. Isn't being selfish wrong though? Aren't our spouses being selfish? Why would I want to be like my stbx?
He did...symantics...and then he said (paraphrasing) you need to figure out what is wrong with you because you keep doing this.
Why shouldn't he say this though?
How come just because his wife is in MLC that he can't say what he wants but it is ok for her to say what she wants?
It is ok for everyone to keep telling me to figure out what is wrong with me and work on myself but it isn't ok for him to tell her the same thing? Why? Just because I am sane (or as sane as I can be)
My stbx is somewhere in MLC and I don't know where anymore but I'll be damned if I keep stooping to his level just because he doesn't know what he is talking about. When can you say enough is enough? Do you have to keep taking their crap day in and day out just to keep the peace.
They can go out and live in their own little world and leave us to pick up the pieces and be the responsible ones but we can't call them on it when we want?
I am beginning to think MLC is just another name for "I'm tired of being married and I need an easy way out" or "I screwed my secretary and I need an excuse so I'm MLC, sorry honey for doing this to you".
Sorry Jack, I don't mean to seem like I am attacking but right now I am a bitter, stubborn bitch. I am beginning to not be able to stand myself. I sure hope my "counselor" tonight is ready for this.
You have all the power you want. Newbies don't realize this, most old timers don't either. You have all the control. You're still marrried or not married because of your decision to either dig your feet in and not get divorced or to sign papers.
You feel like crap because you decide too.
Life isn't fair, embrace it and suck up the pain. What idiot told you life was fair?
You don't want to be married? Do everything you're not supposed to do...like all the old crap, confrontation blame and guilt, telling them that they need to figure out why their f-ed in the head for example)All the stuff that never worked with any other relationship.
You don't like yourself? Change.
You choose, your choice to take their crap or ignore them. Your choice to believe whatever it is you need to believe to make it through, your choice to get sucked into their drama or to rise above it.
Your pain in this, is your choice.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
She asked herself this in front of me. She knows it's wrong. I don't feel she should have a free pass to treat my like chit when she flat out knows it's wrong. Why would she ever feel the need to change then.
