Okay, so I finally get a hold of her and she said she didn't hear the phone because she was ins ide getting lunch. Might be true. We talked a bit about the dog and she wanted me to try to set up an appointment with the vet (dog doesn't usually have accidents and has put on a lot of weight, drinking a lot more water than usual, etc.). She told me to get an appointment today. I asked if we couldn't get in if tomorrow would be okay and she said to try for today and if it had to be tomorrow then try to get it for after 4. The kids get off of school at 3, so I suppose that was her reasoning.
I called the vet and set an appointment at 4. She said she was going to call her mom and have her watch the kids because she wanted to go too. Fine. Then she came home and check the account for some money she is expecting to come in today. There was an error and she will not have the money for a couple of weeks. She was fuming and then got glum. I asked her what happened and she explained it to me and then left to go pick up the kids. I suppose she is going to drop them off at her parents house and come back for the dog. I don't know.
But...
I showed concern by asking her what happened
and then I left it alone and gave her her space. There are no bills due at this moment, so her urgency gets my brain working. Regardless, there's nothing I can do for her now except give her some space.
While I listed the reasons for the separation above, and I also have come to the conclusion that it is something that needs to be done regardless of her choice with the filing, can anyone give me a nudge in the right direction as far as to whether I should just sit tight and wait for her or if I should suggest the separation now? If I wait until she files it could look exactly like it is-a last ditch effort. Since I am the one usually trying to stop her, it might just be "another attempt" that will fail. If I initiate it, it may take her off guard and knock her out of her slump. Then again, it may just push her on her way to D. There's the chance that speaking to the lawyer might "scare" her with the finality of the situation. But I really think that she has this in her head as her only option. My thought was that if I just told her that I could not live like this, with all of this hanging over my head, and I was leaving it would definitely force a different perspective. However, it might also set a weird sort of competitive tone that I don't want either. So far, what she had laid out as far as how she would like to see things go, especially with the kids, seems more than fair, and if it ends with a D, the last thing I want is things to turn ugly in that respect.
