Fascinating....and to be honest, I'm reaching the 'I just want this all to end and I too am loosing my give a damn...' It's weird, but I do understand your exhaustment of it. And yes, I just long to LIVE right now.
Of course I do realize after all this time over here on the boards that all stories are different and I can clearly see that my H is not coming back, he is very happy and in love with his 11 year younger ow. He needs her and I think she needs him. I've reached a point where I don't need him personally, just to be our kids' father. I find myself looking for less and less contact with him, and even though I miss it and would wish to hold on to that last little bit of him (of hope), I know in my heart, that it is only an illusion that I am holding on to. It's painful to realize, but I am doing good on my own, I'm happy with me, I do still feel jealous of the ow for being young, beautiful and probably sweet and loving....
It's never fair, but I think I should have cherished our love more. I am not blameless in this.
Thanks again Amy, I wish you the most wonderful time with your H...I hope you cherish all the moments as life is too short not to. And if Jeff ever reveals his 'side', I hope to read that post !
Take care, Cinders x
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
