Counseling or Divorce

[confusedinpa]

To be frank, my wife had been trying to get me to understand/recognize that there was a problem for years (according to her 8 of the 9.5 years we've been married).

We tried counseling last year - I only decided to go when she came home one day and said she's got an appointment that nite so I need to take care of dinner for our 2 boys (who will turn 7 and 3 in 2 months). I spent a year going to counseling every week wondering why I was there.

I didn't understand until Jan 9th this year when my wife told me she filed for divorce.

Now it's too late - we're still going to counsuling and I'm doing applying a 180 as I understand now what she's been asking for all those years.

Last nite, we went out to dinner before we went to counseling (it's almost like our date nite now). During dinner se told me that she was really proud of me for all the changes that I've made and know it will make me a better person and father. Problem is that what I'm doing now is exactly what's she's been trying to get for all those years. It just that she reached a point where you keep trying to get something and you're denied it, you wind up giving up and no longer wanting it. She also said that she still can't get past how much I've hurt her so she can't see me as her husband. It really hurt me and made me sad.

I hope that you can get through to your spouse before you reach the same point.