Well, I'm no expert. But the proof may get you full custody of the kids depending on the judge. However, I know you just want to fix things and that is what is best. Just whatever you do, don't make it look like blackmail to her. That will not bring her closer to you.
You might start with just talking to her and letting her know that you know about the affair and that you do have proof because of how she was acting. You might tell her that yall can work through the affair.
Of course, I say this and it didn't work for my W. Some have told me that while the A is going on, there is nothing you can do except keep back and work on yourself. Then when it ends, be a great option. The typical A lasts about 6 months. But since yall are already talking to lawyers, I don't know. You have to watch out for yourself and your kids. So you have to use it in your favor when it comes to court if it comes to court. But heading it off before that point, could keep it from going to court. Then you don't spend thousands of dollars fighting it out. She may realize that you have her and its in her best interest to retreat from the divorce.
I really don't know. Wish I could help you more.
Kevin
Not going to try and 'make' her work anything out. I looked her in the eyes and told her I loved her enough to let her go two weeks after this started.
I'm going to wait and talk with her (with witnesses) so that there is no drama/claim of abuse. I wouldn't put it past her to hit her head on my table and then call the police.
I'm sure there is nothing I can do outside of exposure and letting it die a faster death since it thrives in the secrecy she's built around it.
This isn't my first rodeo in terms of custody/legal issues - so I've already built a heck of a case against her to demolish anything she's saying about me. My goal is to force a settlement, and if her mom stops bankrolling her - she and OM have no money to speak of and won't be able to fight me. I hate going through my savings, but I have enough to drag this out for a year and not use a credit card.
Every dollar I spend is one less dollar that goes to the children though. But I won't stop until I get what I want in terms of custody/etc. in the settlement.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
