help with 180 and LRT at mid life

[hopeinmind]

I have read DR and liked it very much. I am just afraid it is too late. My H is in la la land with MLC. All the usual stuff, OW-You're too good for me speech- i just want to live alone- just walked away from me and kids age 16&14. Oh He is the fun Dad. I am here to raise the kids by myself. He goes to their games, etc.. we are seperated for the last 2 months. I kicked him out after I found him lying to me again. I can not put up with OW so i kicked him out. After reading DR I guess I should have let him live here and try to work on things but I have to deal with the reality of the sitch and we have very limited contact. i have read everything I can about MLC and consider myself quite an expert. So I need help & encouragement with the 180. I have read the chapter on MLC probably 10 times. So I just should not contact him? I want my M to work soooo much. I can forgive the OW thing and even understand it but this is just such a nightmare. I want to call him and talk about how he can do this to our family but that has gotten me nowhere. Help please. I am looking for words of encouragement that NC will work. That and prayer are my only options at this point. We do discuss finances or the kids but rarely and usually through email. He has asked me to put the breaks on the D because I went to see a L and paid a retainer. I do think there is a sliver of hope but he says it could be a very long time. i think he started MLC behavior in 05. It has just gotten severely worse in the last year. No end in sight. Does the advice in DR work for MLC? I am reading and reading but I am confused. Any advice out there?