go to IC or I'm filing for divorce" what would you say
Depends on if I really loved the person and wanted the marriage.
I have to agree with what Gucci says.
I am now going to say what no one among us long timers and "limbo livers" will say aloud but most know it deep down. FEAR rules us. We fear putting ourselves and our spouses in a "put up or shut up" situation. I think you and I and a bunch of others around here are afraid of change and afraid of possibly being unmarried so we try to talk, talk, talk, blah, blah, blah, we do small variations on cheeseless stuff etc... At some point we have to say, here is what I NEED from you or I'm out. Either they will do it or they won't. We will leave or not leave. IF you had been dating your husband for only 6 months and this stuff arose, you would leave, no? I know I would leave in my sitch. This far into marriage it is more complicated for all of us and we are more comfortable and also more scared of the world out there so we schlep from day to day hoping for the best. Almost no one I've seen around here has broken out of limbo without drastic action. Very scary but I truly believe that is what numerous people around here need to do.
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Is this about counseling for him, or is this about control
Doesn't matter one bit. If it's what you need from him and he won't do it, you live with it or you don't. When dying of heat and thirst in the desert, you don't care why it is hot. You get out of the desert and get a drink, or you hang around and die. To be fair, I can point these same words at myself.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
