Ok, I read your story. Your wife needs your help. She is not "in her right mind" right now due to the affair.
I understand that you need to expose due to her accusations of abuse, etc. So, you want to wait and do it through the lawyers for legal reasons? If this is so, I'm confused about asking us how to expose...do you mean after the lawyer does it?
Well, my lawyer has filed the counter-claim, denying all allegations of abuse and requiring proof, and I counter-filed on grounds of adultery on her part.
So she'll "know" that I've filed that, but she doesn't know what evidence I have. I have tipped my hand and spoken to her brother (close family relationship between me and her family) about the evidence, and he wants to see it so that he can make a decision.
He and his mom have noticed her change in behavior, and have even been trying to get her cell phone records, etc. themselves and he even tipped their hand a little bit to say that they want what is in my daughter's best interests - even if that includes my wife's mother suing her for custody rights.
So... my b.i.l. said he won't mention anything until seeing the evidence, and I plan to have dinner with their family on Friday night and have an open discussion there so that:
a. there are witnesses and she can't claim abuse. b. her affair is outed
She'll either then decide to abandon her family, or abandon (or hide) the relationship with OM. But she's going to lose a lot of trust, and she may not be allowed the freedom to go and do as she pleases while her mom watches the baby any longer.
I'm just curious what her reaction is going to be. Thus far when I've questioned her (without evidence) she's said "I've been faithful, this is all your fault, I don't love you anymore, I don't know if I ever loved you, etc."
When I actually have hard evidence (and this is solid enough for a judge) and confront her (she told her family she was staying at a girl friend's house) she is going to have to find another way to react.
I'm going to do so calmly, collected, and basically just explain that I understand I may not have been there emotionally in some way she needed. But that the affair needs to stop.
Then will see how she reacts.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
