From my unique POV as a pilot also, I get the distinct impression that your H has lost complete and total confidence in himself (with regards to your R and his failure to remain faithful). I have a sneaking suspicion that he (like myself) once believed that he would never cheat on his W. And now that he has, he is having an extremely difficult time forgiving himself for his actions and the severe harm that he knows he caused.
It is interesting and ironic that it seems you were able to forgive him (from what I can tell) for his infidelity sooner than he was able to forgive himself.
I think that I had mentioned to you before that I think that he feels unworthy of your love and committment to the M as a result of his breech and betrayal.
