I think the waywards like staying friends because it makes them feel better that everything has worked out for the better and at least we are still friends. It makes it look like a mutual decision to those on the outside and them less of the bad guy.
Don't make this easy on her. The more pressure on the affair the more likely it will implode. Don't go along for the ride with your wife steering the boat....poke as many holes in the boat and then jump ship.
