WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 2

[confusedinpa]

I am really trying to stay positive - I'm generally much more upbeat when I'm around her.

Part of my angst is that the divorce clock is still ticking - we actually have a custody hearing in 2 weeks. In PA, a divorce is final 2 years after filing (90 days if both parties agree).

It's just that over the last four weeks, we seemed to have actually gotten further apart. She went from thinking about a chance to try again to finding a reason to change her mind.

She had acknowledged that it wasn't that long ago (maybe 4 months ago) that she still wanted the marriage. It's just that her desire/want for it has been chipped away all the years that it's gone. Now she says she's given up on it since she's been trying for such a long time.

I do recognize nothing is permanent. Our relationship is unfortunately the most glaring sign of that. I know I need to give her a reason to want to change again. I know I have changed. I know she sees the change. I know she needs to believe the change and that will take time.

Knowing all these things doesn't make it any easier to be strong though. That's why I'm here - to get the feedback and support of the folks here who are going through the same thing.

Thanks for listening/reading