LE - I'd be surprised if she could quote any passage from the bible at all, she is 100% non religious and unless for weddings, funerals, christanings or unless she went with school, I cant believe she has ever been in one. I'm not religious myself, but went to church as a child.
You could be right and speaking to MOT35 last night about it, she thinks what you say too. She reckons the reality has kicked in that my life will be easier than hers through her choices (not better as nothing in this is good). She also reckons that she got rid of me, but desperate for another man in her life rather than just desperate to be rid of me. The reality of having a new BF is, unless they are in a similar spot or a really nice guy, they probably aren't going to fancy a once, maybe twice a week R, especially without sleepovers. So they will get what they want for a bit then jump ship. I'm sure this has happened to her a few times in the space of a year. I know of twice for definite.
Anyway, after re reading, and my mum also went to my sisters and they and BIL read also, we are seeing the comedy in what she says and I really think she is cracking up. I'm a little scared for my boys tho, being stuck with her. Why cant I just win the lottery and pay off the house for her, give her a little cash then go for full custody of my kids ??? Oh, if life was that easy
After all that, I then get a phone call at 7.30am this morning saying STBX ans S6 are ill, can I drop S2 round her friends ??? Can't honestly believe the cheek but another 15 mins with him and the house is right by my work so just did it and didn't even look at her.
After a few down days, for which that was the culmination, I am back and happy as anything for some reason today....no idea why.
Arthur--Google Malachi 2:16 and I think you will laugh. Cracking up would seem right. Somedays I think I am the one cracking up in this mess. I get the not looking at her bit and I don't know why I do it, but I do. Easier not to look at her, maybe it is a sign of disrespect. Good your mum and sis & her H see the humor in what she is attempting.
Glad you are having an up day, hopefully more of those for all of us. And I heard your snow is mostly gone so maybe some warmer days for you. Forecasting 19 for a high here and plenty of sunshine today, although it is -2 right now!
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
LOL, just read that one sir....very good. If I were going for the comeback, that would certainly be in it, but I'm bigger than that and won't stoop to her levels.
Just keep swimming just keep swimming !!!
I'm on the South Cost so we actually get the best weather in general and bit wet today but warmer. Snow is ok for 1 day but this country grinds to a halt so prefer not to have it. also, going out at the weekends is not good in the snow
LE - I only saw the short version when I googled it then my BIL looked up the full version, even better...lol
Had a great weekend. Went to poker Friday night and won �200, then had my boys all day Sat. Picked them up from the IL and was invited in for a cuppa whilst they got ready and had a bit of a chat with FIL just like we used too. Felt fine and I'm so glad there's no bad feelings towrds me there.
Couldn't go swimming as S2 had been a bit sick in the nite apparently so we went and played round mine for the morning an S6 did the most incredible picture of his snowman he had made. My mum is an artist and couldn't believe it for a 6 yr old.....He does spent 90% of his free time drawing bless him and he's very good if I biasedly say so myself. Took them to play with the Cousins Sat pm and they had a great time, then back for dinner and took them home just after 7.
Had a great nite out, couple of parties then met MOT35 in a club. Got home bought 6 am then woke by MOT35 about 10.30 (I know....WTF !!! ). We then went out for a couple of hours for lunch which was nice then just went home and chilled.
Oldies gone away today for a week so got my boys overnight which I'm really looking forward to. I so miss those cuddles in bed etc and the morning time. Doing the same again on Sat night so got a great week planned. Sure some sols ltr from her or something will turn up to try and throw me tho...lol
Spoke to STBX this morning and she sounded really poorly and it turns out she was up a lot last night and has been very sick. Anyway, left it there then just now I get a phone call of her in tears asking me if I can leave work to look after S2 as she is so ill. I said no, I can't just take off work when your ill anymore, where are your friends etc (these are these so called wonderful friends that have been her rocks and encyclopedia of knowledge re leaving me) and she burst into tears. Now, I felt a little guilty for my son, not for her and also a little frightened for him as ok, your ill, but why would that mean you break down in tears ?. I offered to ring my sister and see if she was about but unfortunately not (she said, WTF is she asking you for ???). So I rang back and in that 5 mins it turns out a friend is coming round.
My question is how to handle these sitches ? My mum and sister say, well she should cope with it, it's what she wanted etc and I tend to agree, but I get scared for my boys as she suffers from depression so can get really low. I worry for them though I know she would never hurt them. So do you think I did the right thing ? I have always even since seperating just dropped everything and looked after my boys in this sitch in the past, but surely I cant be expected to anymore can I ?
Really appreciate people thoughts on this as it's got me stumped if I have done right, wrong or could of just handled differently entirely.
IMO, as long as the boys are not in any real danger and she is conscious then she needs to deal with the choices she made. She made the choice to be a single parent, right? She decided that your support in raising the boys on a constant basis wasn't needed. She'll have to learn to handle the situations that arise. Now, if she were completely incoherent with a raging fever and unable to care for them at all then she should call you as you are their father. Otherwise, too bad, so sad.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Spoke to STBX this morning and she sounded really poorly and it turns out she was up a lot last night and has been very sick. Anyway, left it there then just now I get a phone call of her in tears asking me if I can leave work to look after S2 as she is so ill. I said no, I can't just take off work when your ill anymore, where are your friends etc (these are these so called wonderful friends that have been her rocks and encyclopedia of knowledge re leaving me) and she burst into tears. Now, I felt a little guilty for my son, not for her and also a little frightened for him as ok, your ill, but why would that mean you break down in tears ?. I offered to ring my sister and see if she was about but unfortunately not (she said, WTF is she asking you for ???). So I rang back and in that 5 mins it turns out a friend is coming round.
My question is how to handle these sitches ? My mum and sister say, well she should cope with it, it's what she wanted etc and I tend to agree, but I get scared for my boys as she suffers from depression so can get really low. I worry for them though I know she would never hurt them. So do you think I did the right thing ? I have always even since seperating just dropped everything and looked after my boys in this sitch in the past, but surely I cant be expected to anymore can I ?
Really appreciate people thoughts on this as it's got me stumped if I have done right, wrong or could of just handled differently entirely.
Thanks
well this is me coming from a co-parenting point of view...
I can see where you would say she must do this on her own..I feel ya on that..
I also know I crave as much time as possible with Caleigh....
I think If Kim called me right now saying she was sick and asking if I could take Caleigh then I think I would do it..
I don't know which is the right thing to do..and I don't consider taking Caleigh as a favor for Kim..I consider it a favor for Caleigh
I don't think there is a right or wrong answer..I think you should just do as you wish..but be ready to deal with the fallout of the option you choose..
Thanks guys. Little development in that her friend was available and has S2 and is picking S6 up from school (same age kids and at same school), so no problem there but I am having them overnight again.
Mike, I hear ya and that is my conundrum. Thing is, it's my work time I then have to make up or take holiday for and if I were to regularly do this (as I am pretty sure she would try), I then lose time when I could have days off with them both as planned and not just S2. S6 gets so little time with me on his own as it is that I don't want to eat into that.
In a way, I'm glad it's not a definite answer as that make me feel I'm not being awkward or a bad dad or something
You also have to think about the next time. You might be free but she doesn't call because you shut her down this time. There is nothing wrong with being compassionate and as Mike said doing it as a favor to your kids. If it eats into your time down the road, then you have to weigh that. I am speaking from experience because my S was sick and I had to work and OM wound up staying home with him that day. I don't want him having any chances to be a hero to my S.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
Have had boys 3 nights on the trot now and been awesome. so makes me want to get my own place now to have them regularly as I miss them already knowing I'll not see them til Sat lunchtime now.
Onto life stuff. MOT35 is now getting really complicated. Hard to explain in short and I wont bore you, but she wants it secret for the time being but we've been out a few times and now the small world which is the place I live, it has been said to people she would rather it hadn't that she is seeing someone. She is really panicking and worried what people think of her etc and tho not actually called quits yet, I think it will happen. That is fine and I'll respect her wishes, just annoys me that it's not for the totally right reasons, not because there is anything wrong between us, but because she is worried about what other people think.
Were still talking loads at the moment and have a break for a couple of weeks next week anyway as I'm away for a long weekend, so it might be we cool down til then. I really like her, I know she really likes me, else I would just walk away. Just feel there could be something special here so would rather give it a chance. Maybe a little break will help....I hope so.
Most down I've felt in ages, so a haircut this afternoon then a nice run and tidy up the whole house tonight to take my mind off things for a bit. Hopefully we will still see each other this weekend.
