well, the more things change, the more they stay the same....Just picked up D8 and also dropped off some Wii stuff i purchased for stbxw. She gave me a check for $450. i get a call on the way home asking if would mind depositing the money on tuesday....wow.....I guess she will always spend more than she makes. I can't help but feel sorry for her...i almost feel like telling her to forget about it but she will just spend it on other stuff...i would rather have it in my pocket and spoil D8 or myself....or on a date????
STBX picked up D8 last night and actually arrived relatively unannounced. So she came in the apt. actually took off her coat and chatted for a while. Meanwhile, D8 was downstairs with my parents. It was strangely kind of nice to be in a room together. I have felt a little melancholy in her voice recently but she is no different than everyone i guess....it comes and it goes.....you can't live with someone for so long and just erase them from your mind / heart. Although some WAS on here seem to have an easier time of it. At one point during our conversation, she actually called me "my love" which is was her favourite (actually our favourite) term of endearment. I just continued on without even looking her way....when I did look her way, she was very embarassed and had her face in her hands....I did not make her feel any worse. I just said something like old habits die hard or something similar. Anyhow D8 seemed very happy to have spent a three day weeekend with me and equally happy to see her mom. When they left, I could not help but think what a waste, what a shame that we complicate our lives way more than we should.... On the dating front, I have come to almost a complete halt....I am not moving as quickly as I once was. If and when I feel like starting up again I will make some calls. That is where I am today....tommorow may be different....at least I do not have to worry about nuying a gift for Valentine's day!
Hey John.... yesterday... was the eclipse in Leo !! I found it interesting she felt compelled to come in, sit down and call you 'my love'. I cant help feeling there is something in that, but I am a ridiculous hopeless, idealistic, dreamy romantic and metaphorically, I need a good slapping! So sorry. But yeah, hold off on the dating.. theres no rush (well, apart from the obvious, but LJ seems to have been relegated to the reserves hey).
Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Bonjour!! It's sad and a total waste. I look at our friends (i have no dovorced friends), our sibblings and think "how the h$ll did they make it work? What was so wrong in our case that couldnt be fixed, mended, resolved?". I'll never know the answer...
Dating:do as you please. You have my full support. You are not done yet though. Love always K
People go through mourning at different times and different ways. Keep doing what you're doing. Funny the sadness in your spouse comes out when you started dating.
All those dates were wonderful. You know the pond is stocked when you want to go throw a line or two out. As it was said before, you've changed, are aware and educated about what you do and don't want in a relationship. What you want and/or need in a date is a different story. Address your boundaries up front. It sounds like "Hello beautiful.. You're wonderful. I'm not ready to do anything but focus my all my sensuous attention solely on you in the here and now." Well.. something like that.
A date is a date is a date. If it's fun, hurray! If it's a chore, fig it!
Ciao cara, I am not sure STBX is sad...just a tad melancholy. Yes, it probably has something to do with D8 perhaps letting it slip that the old man is talking to strange women. STBX asked if I had lost weight and who dresses me? Meaning I guess that I looked good. By the way Gyps, no way in hell that i can utterthose words you suggested....to anyone.
bonjour Maria, I think i know the answer....what happened was that my STBX stepped over the line (maybe yours as well). Her morales / beliefs were not strong enough to keep her from straying. Bottom line, selfishness and wanting something new, won the battle. Maybe it is a sign of the times..."it's not working anymore, just get a new one".
hello Ali, not sure if the eclipse in leo had anything to do with any of this but stbx has been a little different in the last week or so...may be the stars or maybe what i mentionned above. Either way, in the grand scheme of things I am not really sure it means anything at all. At best, I may feel a little better about myself by imagining a certain regret on her part. At worst I can't help but feel a little sadness about my path so far.
