I don't know...I just read his newcomer thread and I don't get the whole "you are just trying to keep her down" thing.
For me, the instant she pulled the "abuse" card, all bets are off and he has no choice but to protect himself by hiring a PI and documenting the truth...not her version of it.
Exactly. Instead of just separating, agreeing to a mutual divorce filing, etc. - she ran to an attorney and started telling everyone (family/friends/etc.) that I am an abusive jerk which is why she is leaving. There has been no abuse in our relationship.
So my goal at this point is to not allow her to set the tone, and go ahead and (strongly) confront the reality behind her decision.
Otherwise I risk losing my daughter, or I risk having problems with raising my two sons I already have.
I don't feel the need to 'play nice' when she went the route she did. I'd love to... tried to throughout January. No begging, being nice, talkative, avoiding relationship talk, just being understanding. Trying all the DB stuff, then went dark - which seemed to work for a bit as she became nicer, more talkative, but still went to screw around with the OM.
I'm not 'angry' at the affair. I've seen her in person several times since then - and I have been nothing but cordial and nice.
I won't confront her about it directly now because of the legal situation. I've just heard that it helps to expose these things to the light so that the shaky foundation evaporates.
I'm just trying to think of the best way to do that... she spent all her time trashing me to everyone else - and I'm not out to "get her back" on that - but I do need to set the record straight with her family at least.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
