Counseling or Divorce

[smartcookie]

I'm just curious. I must be the slowest woman on the planet.

I've asked my H every possible way I can think of for the past 12 months to go to IC for his emotional/verbal abuse, control, emotional disconnect issues.

I told him tonight, I feel like we're separated but living in the same house. He said he feels married, but not.

I told him that I've hurt him, & he's hurt me. He said he's forgiven me & is ready to move forward. I told him I can't move forward when he keeps doings things that damage the trust in our M. I can't move forward when I'm the verbal/emotional abuse police in the M.

I told him that I didn't know if we could heal while together. I've been going to IC for 2 1/2 years to build my self-esteem so that I don't become a doormat/abuse victim ever again.

I told him that I've asked him for 12 months to go to IC, & his answer by his actions has been "it sucks to be SC".

He asked "what if I go back to (former counselor) & she says I am healthy or only need to go once a month.?"

In order words, it doesn't matter what SC thinks. A counselor is a trained professional. I'm only the wife.

If your S said........

"go to IC or I'm filing for divorce" what would you say ??

Is this about counseling for him, or is this about control ??

I'm guessing it's still about control, but no he doesn't need counseling.