My Sad WAH Story: Is there Hope?

[Silent Chrleader]

......I've been pretty pathetic these last 2 days. I just worry that I've really screwed things up, and there isn't a chance for us. Then I wonder if I really want a chance for us. This is so very confusing. .....

Hey, MIP!!

I could have written these exact same words many times over throughout my sitch. I am the worst for second guessing, lack of patience, fortune telling, assuming the worst......you name it, if it NOT PRODUCTIVE, I've probably done it!

This is a very painful process that we are all going through. But, it is doable. And the key, I think, is to be kind to yourself. Become your own best friend. You are a beautiful, warm, loving, faithful, compassionate woman! Don't forget that!

And remember, we only have to live one day at a time. In fact, we all often make the mistake of ruining today by lamenting over yesterday, or worrying about tomorrow. Today is all we really have, and all we need to do is put yesterday aside and let tomorrow take care of itself. Life is what happens while we are busy thinking of other things. Take the time to enjoy the moment! It's where life really is!

Sounds simple doesn't it? Yep, it's simple, but it sure ain't easy!!!!

Hang in there!

[[[[[hugs]]]]]

[RobD70]

How am I supposed to deal with this?

I just know H will be delivering D papers for me to go over and sign.

I'm going to loose it.

I don't care how strong you are, I don't want this and I have no idea how to deal with it.

How can he do this to us?

This is all so very terrible.

When my W told me she filed I actually felt relieved. I thought I was going to break down so I was a bit surprised how I felt. I think it just p!ssed me off so bad that she did it that I just got angry. I also felt that I no longer had the stress of trying to save the M anymore. I did everything I could so now it's in the W hands, my job is done and I just need to look at for myself and not worry about her anymore.

If he does this remember it is he that is ending this and he'll have to deal with the guilt of splitting his family. Of course it's never truly be over since you have children with him. Once you really drop the rope and not only stop talking to him but stop caring as well you'll see a change in his behavior. He may not "think" he wants you but rest assure he doesn't want you running away either. He knows you ain't going anywhere so that doesn't worry him but if he thinks you stopped loving him and will move on he'll flip out. That's not easy to pull off however.

[MomInPain]

Today was a good day.

I signed me, s10, and d8 up for a family membership at the YMCA.

It will be a great way to spend time not thinking about this whole situation. Plus I can go at the crack of dawn to work out and be home before they get up for school!

Well I'm hoping it will help us pass the time a little easier.

Thank you tax return!

[Forrest Gump]

Hey MIP...

1st let me state that people don't seek me out for support.. or at least I don't think so. Most of the time I hear from people.. its when things are really down. I know you are kinda new.. and I don't want to put you out. Please don't take what I say.. the hard way.

"The whole situation really reflects our relationship."

Yes.. most people here would label this "More of the Same". In making the choice to leave.. most WA's think that things will change. It very rarely changes for the better. This does throw them off also. The change that needs to occur.. is you standing up for what you "hold close". The weird thing about all this is you really have to cut thru the "Drama" and decide what really is the best "situation" for you. I label this.. "Who you are".

We get "here" because we loose a part of ourselves over the years. We "settle".. or "get quiet".

The one thing a WA.. never expects.. is for the LBS.. to show up with some "Love".

to me.. you really need to be careful with what you say and how you react.. I don't wanna see you push him to the D papers.

"He doesn't say what he wants or doesn't state his issues and uses me to drag it out of him. Then I'm the bad guy."

Sometimes.. "the issue" is not as big as the other person makes it out to be. Sometimes we look bad.. because we dragged it thru the mud and made it bigger.

That statement was directed at you.. really read it.

"The look on his face is hard to read. He looks sad, and disgusted at the same time. It's like he can't stand to even look at me."

Cause you look "Crazy" and he does not understand. This right here.. can be the killer. Yet it is so hard to explain what to do. The thing about it is.. you would not feel like he can't stand to look at you.. if you did not know on some level.. you were acting "Crazy".

"He is filling out the D paperwork for sure."

You have to think... until I get papers.. I am doing X. And stick to it.

I am a big believer in "If you think it.. it will happen."

"I don't care how strong you are, I don't want this and I have no idea how to deal with it."

Nobody wants it. Most have no idea how to deal with it.

Best thing I can say is.. Find YOU.. in this big old mess. Things will fall into place after that.

The Gym.. sounds good.

Don't worry too much about how many people post to you. It takes time. Remember.. most of the people "here" are in a situation very similar to yours.. and they don't know either.

Heck.. I think I locked 2-3 posts on my stitch.. and I have been here.. almost 2 years now. I just learned so much more.. reading.. and posting my random thoughts. And some people do that. Some people need that daily support. Just like RL.. everyone is different. The thing you really have to look at.. is everyone comes here for the same reason.. "Quick Fix" or "Tell me what to do". They all find success.. in some way.. shape.. or form.

You will to.

Time is your friend.

Time will always tell.

Give time some room to work.

-----------------------------------

I noticed that in your post to me you said you clicked on my link.. but did not find "me". The link in my signature.. is a definition. It defines the words in red. See.. I don't really have a "stitch" here. It is kinda spread out. I was not very good a documenting my life here. But.. I am always willing to answer questions about my life. I took a long break.. just stopped posting.. cause I felt it was keeping me stuck.. in my situation. I still learned a lot from the people posting here.. even though it was not directed at me. So.. I guess that is why I still hang out in Newcomers.. cause I never really left.

We (Everybody here) have been Newcomers.. at one time or another.. so trust.. you are not alone.. and you are not bringing anything "new" to the table. You are just walking down a road.. that is gonna take you.. someplace better.

That I can assure you of.

Now...

[MomInPain]

Here we go. Got this email from H at 8:30am today:

"If possible I would like to sit down with you today around 5:30 pm to look over paper work. Please let me know if this will work for you. "

Breathe, in and out.

What do I do?

We do have Church this evening, so I can at least postpone for a day but then what?

Time to go pray.

[MomInPain]

He thinks I sit around on the computer all day checking my email.
Truth is, since he left, the only time I'm really online is at night. at least that's what I want him to think. lol I don't have to reply to his email. If he really wants to get these papers to me, he should call or text me. right? Hmmm, I guess he'll just have to wait.

[MomInPain]

Forrest,

Again, your words in your reply are appreciated. Sometimes you confuse me but I do get what you are saying.

Basically, time heals everything and no matter what happens, I will be OK.

Also, save the drama for your mama. Right?

[MomInPain]

he delivered D papers.

Handled it with as much Grace as I could.

Cried silently, as we read through them.

All I could say is "I understand, and Everything looks ok".

I don't want to fight anymore. So I signed.

He did all the talking. He said he will come over to talk about stuff other than this crap. Those were his exact words.

He also said that we have 95 days to change things or "whatever".

Worst day ever.

[MomInPain]

I'm falling on my knees praying for a miracle.

95 days and counting. Be assured H will file tomorrow.
That is how determined he is.

This is the first year in 18 that I've not had a
Valentine. I'm sad.

[sandycay]

MIP,


I am so sorry for your situation. I hope you sign nothing else before you have legal represention. Please don't fall victim to that. Please take a copy and have it reviewed before the waiting time is up. I know it's hard but you must protection yourself and your kids.


Big Hugs