No idea, I've never talked to one. I actually don't know at all.
Personally I think the fact that she was able to tell you that the long song comment hurt her deeply is a good thing. Truly apologizing for that is one small baby step towards her being able to forgive you. Getting her to open up about the hurt/anger and express it to you may be the path to her recovery.
Not sure if encouraging that gels with DBing, but it seemed to work for me. Each issue we moved through toned down my W's coldness towards me. It was all about how I handled the expression that made the difference. I used to fight her on it, instead I listened and validated it.
Quote:
I was going to get into the whole thing about how my wife was perplexed on how to move past the hurt/hate
The way for her to move through the hurt/hate is probably to get it off her chest, which your therapist seemed to want to do. Go with it, don't fight it I think. Don't try to force the topic in your sessions. Bring up topics if the opportunity arises, but don't try to assert control over it is probably best.
I still think you are making solid progress. Perhaps now would be a good time to re-read your threads to see if you are more ready to absorb the advice people have given you.
GAL leads to PMA. What have you done to GAL lately?
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
