My Sad WAH Story: Is there Hope?

[Forrest Gump]

"I couldn't help myself."

Yes.. yes you can.. but it is a choice you have to make.

"I asked him to try and imagine how I feel."

I know. He could not "see" it the same way you do.. if you wrote it all out.. in DAM speak. (DAM=Dumb As* Man)

His point of view is way different than yours.. he will not "see" it like you. This.. is part of the problem. You have this issue also. Your scope of view right now.. is very narrow. It is focused on you and your pain. The quicker you reign it in.. the better off you will be.

Just to prove a point.. I want you to really look at these statements.

"I asked him if he felt he was getting what he wanted."

"If he felt he was going to be happier once all this was over."

"I told him that I worry about him and that I can see he really needs a friend to talk to"

Now.. think about them with different ears.. not the "hurt" ones.

What you are doing and where you are right now.. is where we all have been at one point or another. I am not putting you down.. I am not discounting how you feel. I am just gonna tell you.. the longer you do "this" the worse it is gonna get for you. It is a slow and painful ride to the bottom. Trust me.. I got on the ride. Had my hands up and everything.

No.. woe is me. You have been given the chance.. to show your true colors. How can you win?

The simple answer is be who you are.. and hope.. someone follows.

Please feel free to scream it out here.. just don't do it where he can see it.. or hear it.

Read around.. there is lots of food for thought here.

[MomInPain]

What a horrible night. Not only did my son get sick, I succumbed as well. I had done so well hold it off but I think everything just overwhelmed me. Now I'm feeling pretty cruddy. So me and s10 are relaxing and enjoying each others company. He loves the History Channel.

I'm still so angry about how I handled the situation last night.
If I really step back and take a look at what was said, and what wasn't said it becomes a whole lot clearer.

The whole situation really reflects our relationship. He doesn't say what he wants or doesn't state his issues and uses me to drag it out of him. Then I'm the bad guy.

So when he is beating around the bush about a statement I made when I was upset about not wanting to live in our marrital home, he uses that as a opening. "So have you thought any more about moving?" "Your the one who said you couldn't live here".
Here I am trying to do the listening and valadating thing and I'm not sure what to do. So I pipe up and ask "What do you want?" "Why not just be a man and tell me what you want to do instead of leaving it all up to me?" "You know I have no choice in the matter, you hold all the cards?" "I can't make your choices for you."

The look on his face is hard to read. He looks sad, and disgusted at the same time. It's like he can't stand to even look at me.

So I now see, this isn't about running away from his responsibilities. This is about me. He is more than willing to take over here and be a full time parent. AS long as I'm not in the picture.

Wow, that's enough to make a person feel terrific!

[Babygirl]

breathe sweetie. first off, they are in a crazy place in thier head, dont believe all they say, really, let it roll off you. how ever you normally react, dont. i love seeing the look on H's face when he thinks i am gonna act a certain way and dont.
hang in there sweetie.

[MomInPain]

H called a little while ago. He could hear that I wasn't feeling well and asked me if there was anything he could do. Why does he care?

Anyway, he called to get my drivers license # and SS# and to make sure he was spelling my middle name right. WTF?? He is filling out the D paperwork for sure.

We also talked about extra curricular activities the kids are involved in and how they aren't interested in pursuing the things that they did before. H asked if it was because of what's going on. Um Duh, ya think? I didn't say that of course. lol

I wish this feeling would last. The feeling that I've had it and I want nothing to do with him again. I could care less what he does with his life, or his choices. Why on earth would I want a man that has such little respect for me and my feelings. Who could toss me aside like a piece of trash. I deserve so much better.

Please Lord, give me strength!

[MomInPain]

How am I supposed to deal with this?

I just know H will be delivering D papers for me to go over and sign.

I'm going to loose it.

I don't care how strong you are, I don't want this and I have no idea how to deal with it.

How can he do this to us?

This is all so very terrible.

[MomInPain]

I feel so alone.........my sitch isn't interesting enough to
warrant a reply. oh well.

[Tomato]

lol ..i didn't know our sitches were supposed to be interesting


hi MIP ...sorry that you are hurting.

You will make it. We all have and you will be no different.

peace, blessings and prayers I will offer for you and your family.


T

[Tomato]

Please Lord, give me strength!

Pray in earnest for this and you will have it. Rest assured. He will strengthen you and give you comfort. We all need to work on our R's with Him first and foremost.

Remember He is your first and forever H.

Have a good night MIP.


T

[native]

I know you are hurting. Right now it seems you will always feel like this. But this too shall pass. Our emotional well being is not dependent on our spouses. Do take a moment to connect with God in your own way. Put it all in His hands.

There isn't much better medicine for a broken heart than a word of peace from God.

[MomInPain]

Tomato,

Thank you for stopping by my thread. Funny, I was just in the middle of reading yours. Your faith in God is such a breath of fresh air.

I've been pretty pathetic these last 2 days. I just worry that I've really screwed things up, and there isn't a chance for us. Then I wonder if I really want a chance for us. This is so very confusing.

I need to start C like yesterday. Luckily my church has arranged counseling for me but we haven't been able to schedule it yet. Hopefully I'll get to meet with her before the end of the week. God knows I need it.