That's quite a story. Your wife reminds me a little of mine, and you a little of me. I too have always been a classic "pleaser" type, and felt that if I only said the right things, did the right combination of things to please her, she'd be happy and she would love me.
Unfortunately, that doesn't work -- women don't find it attractive, and they will often take advantage of it.
I think as long as your wife knows you will be there, "no matter what," you're going to have this problem, in regular, recurring cycles. And I think that each time you GO thru another one of these cycles, she loses another measure of respect for you, and women very closely tie "respect" with "love."
