I'm not familiar with those. I'm familiar with eBlaster, which -- once installed on your computer -- will send you e-mails notifying you of every keystroke entered on that computer. It runs totally undetected, and you can set it up to "go off" whenever certain keywords are entered, like "affair", "divorce," OM/OWs first name, "husband", "wife", etc.
Thanks Puppy...I would have to use the hardware one. From what I understand you attach it to the keyboard and then to the USB that the keyboard wire was in.
I have read that it logs all keystrokes but what I was wondering is it hard to decipher what is there? Was hoping maybe someone had used it before or knew of it to tell about it.
First to answer your question, I have no clue about a keylogger. But I wanted to get back to you about your post from last night. Please know that I am NOT at all judging you because you know my sitch as well and you know what crap I am dealing with. But pooh, I couldn't help but to feel uncomfortable with the level of involvement that your D is has in your sitch. I don't have children and I am thankful of that but I thought it doesn't seem to be a good thing that your D is so involved with OW #1 (and I know that you don't like that and you're trying to stop that) but also the fact that she tracks and reports your H's time with OW. I think that seems to be getting her too involved. I do understand that it is difficult to not get the children involved but I was thinking when I read your post that somehow you need to reduce your D involvedment in all this. I would hate to for to grow up thinking that its ok for husbands to see OW. You know what I mean?
I don't like it either...not one bit. But my hands are tied. I don't know what to do or what I CAN do. No one else seems to know either.
I even asked my L if there was anything that I could do to keep her away from my D7 and he told me that unfortunately there isn't.
Right now H takes D7 like he is supposed to (every other weekend and once a week) and every day H talks to OW and won't even give it a break while he has D7 to reduce D7's involvement. Trust me, this has been the root of quite a few of our arguments. I have told him that OW should at least have the respect to let him have his time with D7 WITHOUT calling him all the time while he has D7.
It is almost like OW feels as though she is competing for H's attention when it comes to D7 but yet does everything she can to make D7 like her. It makes me sick.
For some reason H locked me out of his account last night (cell phone). I know when I picked up D7 he had gotten a text and told me that it was a friend of his. OW has not texted him in months since her H read one of the text messages back then. I know this for a fact.
So I think that text was from OW so she did not have to call while I was there and whatever she said H apparantely did not want me to see it so he changed his password and username.
But who knows...I just don't know about him anymore.
I agree. They seem like such different men compared to the ones we fell in love with. Pooh, I so wish I could tell you how to keep D from getting involved. Trust me, I do understand that its a tough position. I really hope other DB on here with kids can give you better advice b/c I think its one thing if H had moved on and has a girlfriend but added to that OW is married too. Not good for D.
H is definately NOT the person I met,fell in love with and married. I don't know who he is anymore. It just blows me away some days.
And no it is not good for D7. I feel so bad for her. She wants us all back together so badly and yet she likes OW too. I hate that my child has to go through this.
Just journaling...whining...venting...whatever you want to call it.
Had not heard from H since the mess over the weekend. I was fine with that. Sometimes I actually think I do better when we have N/C. Maybe I am getting to that point that I just don't care anymore...who knows.
H picked up D7 today as it is his night to keep her overnight. I had talked to him at pickup on Sunday about needing to come by there today and make copies of some things and get some paperwork out of the office. He said that would be fine.
Called on my way there and of course he was on the phone with OW. He did get off the phone and call me back. I got there and headed straight to the office after giving D7 some love.
I sat down and just started to copy when H walks in asking me if I know how to run the copier. (I was the one who always took care of everything...i am the one who hooked up the copier).
I just looked at him like he was stupid and said "yes". I know it was just a ploy to stand over me and make sure I was not plundering. I did try to peek around for that password though but didn't find it.
I asked him if he was going to stand over me the whole time. Told him I did not want any of his things that were in there. He finally walked out.
I feel like he IS hiding something. I just don't know what. Normally when I go over there he is ALWAYS sitting in the living room or wherever but is comfortable enough NOT to have to follow me around the house. Claims he is not up to anything. Could just be plans for himself and he doesn't want to "include" me in knowing about them. He can be like that at times.
Then I started going through the filing cabinet to get MY important papers out of there. He comes walking in again. Asked me what I was doing and I told him that I was taking mine and D7's important papers. Told him that I did not know what he is up to but I wanted no part of it.
He just said "whatever...i am not up to anything". I told him OW can have him cause I don't want him anymore. He said "I know you don't." I gathered my papers,gave D7 love and left.
Not a good day but at the same time I am not as down as I normally am at times like this.
I have an opportunity next Thursday to get to OM. Should I or just let it be?
Thanks for the update. I ws wondering about you. Piece of advice about H's password to phone. He changed it, so don't try to get it. Having the p/w you will use it and it will keep you drawn into the mess. My H changed his p/w to his bank account and you know I was happy b/c I was constantly checking up on how much he was spending on OW and kids and it was just driving me mad. Now that I have no access, its something less to get me upset.
By the way, I know this whole thing is so maddening, but try really hard not to inquire about H's nonesense. Leave him alone in a sense. I read somewhere that negative attention is still attention so try not to give his crap any attention. Self control. This doesn't mean that you wil always be able to, I know that too well. But you goal has got to be to maintain your peace by any means and that means letting him deal with his crap by himself. If he's hiding something, it will come out eventually if it will affect you and your D. Protect your sanity as much as possible and that means not being pulled in. H will notice. I think our H's in a strange way like it when we get all worked up and pry and give them the attention that they are seeking in their own distructive way.
And, I don't think that you should get to OW. Not sure what you mean get to either. But I also got into several confrontations with OW and you know what, it was so useless. In fact H defended OW which made me feel even worse. Remember your H and OW are allies now. Also, your H's OW has a H of her own so that just tells her morals. And she will not really care about you. So I would say don't even waste your time based on my experience.
