At least she is willing to go to counseling. My H went one time two weeks ago and he is miraculously "cured" and "doesn't need to go back, nothing is wrong with him". Whatever. Even if she doesn't go, YOU GO ALONE. It only takes one to work on a marriage. You have learned that in the DB book. Make sure the MC counselor pro-marriage. You have also probably learned that. I think one of the best (but hardest) things to learn to say is "I understand how you could feel that way." That way, they have their feelings validated. And you should at least understand why they feel that way. It does NOT mean you agree with them (but you don't tell them that part).
Keep moving forward. Sometimes it is really just one step in front of the other. We all misstep at some point or another. We just can't *stand* it anymore. It is harder in the beginning than it is later.
The MC counselor is not going to help her see things differently. I would say especially probably not while you are there. You might think about going first, and talking to the C, getting their take on things, and then offering for her to go later. They might even want to see her alone first, too. I don't know. Everyone does it different. I still think I would go alone first though, so that you know what type of C you are dealing with. And tell them up front that you wanted to come alone first. Tell them why. Tell them you want the M to work and maybe give them a heads up on how your wife is feeling about the M.
Hell, I dunno. I don't know what it would be like if you both went at the same time, because my H has never gone with me. I would like both of us to go, but that's cause I want the M to work. I'm afraid if we both would have went the first time, things might be worse than they are now. But I see how now they could be better.
Anybody else? Puppy, what is your opinion?
I wouldn't ask her about spending time with you anymore. Seriously. I would let her initiate ANY AND ALL contact with you, unless it concerns the kids.
Melissa
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
Even if she doesn't go, YOU GO ALONE. It only takes one to work on a marriage. You have learned that in the DB book. Make sure the MC counselor pro-marriage. You have also probably learned that. 
