My wife dropped the bomb on me in early January. She filed for divorce before the month was out, and is fighting me for full custody/child support/etc.
I suspected OM since last year, but I hired a P.I. who confirmed the affair for me over the weekend. She left my home Friday, went to a grocery store 2 miles down the road and left her car there and jumped into my neighbor's car and they came right back to his house and she spent the night there until 6:30am. I witnessed her come out, called the P.I. and he filmed the drop-off.
I haven't confronted her since gathering the evidence. I've asked her about it, our preacher asked her about it, her mom even asked her about it earlier in January and she has lied straight to everyone's face.
Since she's filed divorce and is making me out to be a horrible person while she's miss innocent - I decided to just give the information to my lawyers and confront her in my counter-claim for divorce. I feel like actually putting the pressure on her through lawyers is going to be the best way to cause the fantasy to fall apart.
I'm not telling her that I know because she's got the typical behavior of lying to my face repeatedly. Even with evidence I feel like she'll start lying - but she doesn't want anyone to know what she is doing.
Until the legal stuff is filed at least, I'm not exposing her to family/friends/etc. - but when that time comes what is the recommended approach for exposing an affair assuming I want her to snap back to reality and get us to a position where we can actually work together?
What I'll have: Video of her car parked in the parking lot until 6:45am. Video of OM car parked in his driveway all night. Video of OM dropping her off at her car. Testimony of P.I. and his description of events. Testimony of me seeing her get in OM passenger seat and calling him to get the video mentioned above of the dropoff.
Should I get her around her family and ask her where she was, allow the lies to build, and then pull out the evidence?
Should I go to her family behind her back?
Should I purchase a billboard on the side of the road after setting up a website discussing her affair?
How do you expose this - and more importantly I am not going to expose or discuss prior to the right time legally. I want her to be shocked by the filing and wondering what evidence I do have. I want the foundations of her fantasy to be shook.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
