It seems to be working! Sometimes....

[Tomato]

get in touch ..firmly in touch with the Lord. He will provide you with everything you will need to go forward. He always does. Make sure he is the one leading you and that you are following Him and no one else.

That is kinda the only advice that i know how to give. It is the best advice. God makes it so.

My prayers I give you.

Peace be in your heart Sandy.


T

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Sandy, I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't think he's ever really had no-contact, which is why he's not over her, but you can't control that. He has to WANT this, and it doesn't sound like he's willing to face the maturity needed in order to do so.

I say "b.s. " too -- love ABSOLUTELY is a decision!!!

Puppy

[Kalni]

Sandy,
I am sorry. It seems a lot of us had a hard time this past weekend. Do what you need to feel better. Stay still. Things will happen the way they are supposed to.
xxx
K

[MomInPain]

(((((Sandy))))

I have to echo Tomato's post. Although it is still hard for me to
give it all over to God, sometimes it's the only thing I can do.

You will be in my prayers.

[sandycay]

SC,

I wanted to tell you that when I read your email to your husband a few days ago how much I felt for you because it so beautifully stated everything that I have been feeling in my heart and mind.

And now to read that your challenges continue to grow, I wish that I could offer you some advice, but I am with you in this one. All that I can offer is that it seems to help me to step back and just let things play themselves out with the confidence that I will KNOW when I have to do something.

Perhaps it is a bit psychotic, but it is almost like I am watching things play out like a story in a book or a movie. I'm just not that invested in my H's character right now. And to imagine that if I were a character in my movie, how would I want her to handle things. My friend is studying the Kabbalah right now and this idea of your life as a story is something she is learning.

You have my most positive thoughts.

Take care you.

Thanks for Posting. You know if I step back and look at it. As my friend Silent Cheerleader told me over and over...."of course he is still going to think he's in love with her, but what matters is that he still here and is trying to do his best"

He is treating me well and makes sure to be kind and loving. It's just hard emotionally on me. But I can choose to get off any time. I put my expectations on those email and frankly, that's not fair and it's a lot of pressure for him. He can lie to me about the answer and make me feel better or he can protect me and say nothing.

Story book huh.... The title of mine would be:

nightmare on 93rd street

[sandycay]

get in touch ..firmly in touch with the Lord. He will provide you with everything you will need to go forward. He always does. Make sure he is the one leading you and that you are following Him and no one else.

That is kinda the only advice that i know how to give. It is the best advice. God makes it so.

My prayers I give you.

Peace be in your heart Sandy.


T

I took your advice T and I also spoke with my wonderful Sister in law who helped me out spiritually too. She's on her third year of standing. With grace to boot.

[sandycay]

Sandy, I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't think he's ever really had no-contact, which is why he's not over her, but you can't control that. He has to WANT this, and it doesn't sound like he's willing to face the maturity needed in order to do so.

I say "b.s. " too -- love ABSOLUTELY is a decision!!!

Puppy

Puppy

I really don't think he has been in contact with her. Here's why:

He has never denied anything to do with her
There are no phone records to show it. He gave me his work cell phone password to log into his account
She lives on the other side of the world
it would cost money for a secret phone and we don't have unaccounted for money.
His time is accounted for
I know where there is a will there is a way however, but he has given me the password to work computer and email

and I know the secret email that they used to share and she has written him a few times there about 8 since last May and none of them have ever been open. I am the only one to log into that account because it tells you the last day someone was on there.

I think he is just confused as to why he did what he did and hasn't reconciled with himself yet.

[sandycay]

Sandy,
I am sorry. It seems a lot of us had a hard time this past weekend. Do what you need to feel better. Stay still. Things will happen the way they are supposed to.
xxx
K

Hey K

Yea I've been reading your post too. This is a difficult time for us but he hasn't had any indication that he didn't want to be here working on the marriage with me. He just feels enormous guilt because he does have these "lingering feelings and says that it doesn't make any sense." He also told me that "he's not going anywhere and that I have been such a good wife to him over the last year and that makes it even harder than ever to understand."

[sandycay]

(((((Sandy))))

I have to echo Tomato's post. Although it is still hard for me to
give it all over to God, sometimes it's the only thing I can do.

You will be in my prayers.

Thanks MIP

I had to give it over but only with hours on the phone with Silent Cheerleader.... she really helped me get perspective on the situation and I am forever grateful for that and for all the input from everyone on my thread....it helps so much to read here. Everybody gets and I can't bounce things off my real life friends because we are back together and that was just be to awkward. I was never one to discuss my marriage with my friends to begin with.

[Silent Chrleader]

.....I had to give it over but only with hours on the phone with Silent Cheerleader.... she really helped me get perspective on the situation and I am forever grateful for that .......

That door swings both ways, my dear dear friend!!

[[[[[[[[[[BIG HUGS]]]]]]]]]]