Just found out wife filed

[MomInPain]

Rob,

I totally feel where you are at. It's really hard to let go, then something happens and it makes it a little bit easier. After a while, you almost forget why it was so hard to let go in the first place. At least that is what I imagine it will be like. lol

Your last post really hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything my H is doing has really come to a head for me. I feel like I'm right on the verge of letting go completely if only to protect my sanity.

Keep up the detaching! ((((hugs)))

[RobD70]

That is true. I did wake up thinking of the W this morning but it was mainly frustration and disappointment as to what she has become. You want to hang on the the person the WAS used to be but at the end of the day they changed and not for the better.

I don't want to say I'd never take my W back but right now I don't see how I could. It's like I don't even know her anymore, she's a stranger to me which makes NC easier.

I have around 6 more weeks before the D can be finalized and that's fine by me.

[Phoenixdeux]

Maybe it's like the Kenny Chesney song, she's better as a memory than as your wife.

[RobD70]

Maybe it's like the Kenny Chesney song, she's better as a memory than as your wife.

I rather not remember lol.

Only 3 people have looked at my house so far but 2 of them are considering offers already. I'll have to break NC to tell the W that she needs to change her address asap and her deposits in our account. I took my cell phone off of her family plan today, haven't told her about that yet.

I'm actually fine being alone. I'm not lonely or depressed anymore. I just don't want to hear anything from or about the W right now. I'm afraid I'd slip and tell her to f' off or go to hell or something like that. I'm going to have to bite my tongue if I have to speak to her and God forbid she tries to take something out of the house that I want lol.

Dollars to donuts I bet she still thinks I'm mooping around waiting on her like a puppy. She's in for a shock.

[RobD70]

Have to communicate with the W today.

I txt her this morning to let her know I dropped off some forms at her mother's for her to fax. I noticed her son's car wasn't there and he suppose to be living with her now (her car would be in the garage). I suspect they may be staying at the OM's place now since there wasn't alot of room at her mom's to begin with. The thought of that "angered the blood" at first but I'm better now.

I have to send her an email about the house offers and to tell her to pay her own bills starting in March. I took myself off her family plan on the cell phone so now we just share medical/auto insurance but it will probably stay that way as long as she pays her share since it's cheaper to do that.

I hate that she still has an effect on me but I know it won't last forever. No matter what, I plan on sticking to my guns and stay business-like and no small talk. I let her have the last word whenever I can and I'm trying to be more assertive when dealing with her. For instance, in my first email draft I said something like "If you don't mind, could you change your direct deposit..." to "Please change your direct deposit...". I thought about leaving out the "please" lol.

I think my ego is what is hurting now. Once I deal with that then I'm hoping I won't care what she does anymore. Going NC has helped since no news is good news in that I have no new info to have to think about.

[Phoenixdeux]

Sounds good. You'll get there. You can't just shut it all off, like a light, in one flip of the switch...it's more like a dimmer that you slowly turn. You'll get there. I think that she'll recognize when you are completely out of love and react, but who cares. Just do your thing.

[RobD70]

Uhg! This little contact (txt and email) has set me back a step. I even had a dream about the W last night and right now what really bothers me is thinking she's having a good time and the OM having some big plans for her on V-day (I'm sure he's going all out). The only thing I know she feels for me is guilt right now.

I shouldn't care and I'm working on rationalizing it away. Until I can pull that off again I'm not in the best of moods. I hate this and it just makes me resent her even more for going down this path. I need to make myself happy again.

I have to send that email about changing the bills and the house and stuff but I'm going to wait until tomorrow at the end of the work day. It may put a damper on her weekend lol. That is evil and may not even affect her but it'll make me feel better since she'll have to think about me. I thought of that last night when she txt'd me about any more house offers. The longer I took to respond the longer she had to think about me responding. That's one reason why you shouldn't respond immediately.

I need to turn that dimmer switch down some more.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I need to turn that dimmer switch down some more.

Yeah. And take out a bulb or two.

[RobD70]

Why wont she leave me alone?

Just got this from her:

I'm sorry to keep bothering you. I was just curious as to the status of the offers on the house. Did the other offer come in? Can you remind me what price you listed the house? I'm assuming you rejected the $205K.

I'd like to think she just wants to hear from me but I know she's just interested in the house stuff. I want to tell her to stop doing this since it IS bothering me but I know I can't. I'll leave her hanging until tomorrow.

Today is not a good day. It's just more reminders of how she can just go about her merry little way while I'm forced to reinvent myself by myself. At least she got a boyfriend to support her and keep her busy. It just not fair but I know life isn't fair. I'm just accepting that the next 2 months are going to be hard on me and try to truck on through it.

I seem to be on a cycle, I go a few days doing great then a few days depressed. I'm at the bottom of the hill on this roller coaster that I thought I gotten off. I hope I can jump off at the next stop.

[Phoenixdeux]

If it were you that had run off, and you wanted to split the money from the sale of the house, wouldn't you want to know about any offers? I suspect she's saying, "I don't want to talk to you really, but I want SOME MONEY"