JDOllie's story #5

[22tango]

Wow JD, you are doing great with going dark! It must be driving her nuts!

I think it would be hilarious if you had to say someting generic about her hair. Just me being a little evil... Even if it looks great, I would act like it was no big deal.

No need to be nice-that will come when/if she comes to her senses.

[silvagod]

Hey JD,

Me setting an example...lol. It DOES get better though. I only think about W now for about an hour total every day. That means the rest of the time I am thinking about me. I don't apologise for being selfish just now either, it's been a LONG time coming!!.

Hang in there buddy, keep thinking about what yr W is actually doing to your family, like you said, I found that helped me get over any little 'bumps'.

[Startingover2]

You are doing well.

About her hair...as a woman we want those things noticed. I wouldn't say a word! She wants you to notice. If she says something like 'do you like my hair?' just say 'oh, did you do something new?'.

[JDOllie]

Thanks, everyone - I appreciate the confirmation.

I'm doing pretty well, a lot more focused on work/kids.

It was a BIG win for me to hold out until W contacted me. I've never done that before, and it felt pretty darned good. And it felt even better to sweat it out, and NOT text her back - even with her being all sweetie pie.

Things to work on:
1. Not getting all tingly when she's super nice like that - even though it was out of character, it doesn't mean anything.

2. Back to my work out regimen! Still staying within 2-3 pounds of my ideal weight, so glad to start putting on muscle.

3. Better time management - even if it is "fluff", I'm going to focus on planning out my day so the time is filled. If I can focus on getting through week two - it HAS to be easier than week 1. Then week 3 will be even easier, and so on!

[steady]

Just stopping by to say hello JDOllie. I'm trying to catch up on your sitch.

[K4D]

You are doing great JD. Keep it up. I'm a couple days away from being forced into the dark. I hope it doesn't take long for me either.

I never understood why women cut their hair so short. My W has always had hers long and its beautiful on her. I'm not sure what they think they are gaining by chopping it off.

Keep going to church buddy and get involved. Its great for you and your kids. Keep your faith.

Kevin

[Connie44]

JD--

I'm going to get off the forum for a while. I think I need some down time-- a break. I just wanted to say a big Thanks for your input and help! Keep doing what you're doing- you're doing great!

-Confused123

[gucci loafer]

Well it is ABOUT time....

I was wondering if you were ever going to figure out that they can't chase you until you are heading AWAY from them.(and mean it) Follow reality. Reality says chasing and pursuing does not work. Trying harder doesn't work. Telling them you have changed does not work. Listen to reality. It will lead you in the right direction.....

Nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who is confident, self assured, doesn't chase and fall all over her and is going somewhere with his life and shows her he can and will live perfectly fine without her... The train has left the station.

[JDOllie]

Confused - you do what you need to do, sometimes being on this forum can become a GAL-blocker too! Thanks for stopping by!



Heh, Gucci - thanks! It's funny how I get ONE stinkin week in, and stuff just starts becoming clearer, and I start getting a hold of myself, and so on. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I'm getting there. Why, oh, why didn't I do this two years ago?

[SingleDad]

Being able to live perfectly well without her is great for yourself. No one should be dependent upon another. But it may not get her back if she is doing the same thing. But in the end it is still the right path to take... there is something to be said about being self-supportive... it is an attractive quality. LBS should be self-supportive on their own before even considering dating (after the D is final esp. if you have kids). Forget what the WAS is doing - they are not healing, they are masking their problems when they walk out of a marraige to have an affair.