Trying to fill the empty space

[Starshyne]

Knowing myself, I seriously doubt that I will ever care less about my xh. Once I give someone my heart, I give it all. I can honestly say that I still have love in my heart for my first love, which was from 1995. I am a caring soul and I really do want to see my xh succeed in life. I wish him the best.

And I am careful with the dating sites. I have ever even contacted anyone from them. I just sort of signed up for that free one just to see what it was all about. I only even check it a few times a month. No big deal...just seeing what is out there.

[SteveInTN]

Knowing myself, I seriously doubt that I will ever care less about my xh.

You might be surprised! Perhaps feeling "different" is a better term. You want to see them "do well" but somehow or another, the person you fell in love with might no longer be there. For me, I was "in love" with what we had. Once that was for the most part trashed, I shifted my love to what exists now. Either way, time heals... Just be patient.

[cat03]

Now I not sure why he calls me whenever he has "news" of any kind of share, but he does. Maybe because I am the only person he trusts.

Caution, this sounds JUST like stbx last year, he'd call me all the time when he felt bad, we'd eat out with the kids... and I started weaving an ever so thin hope that if he straighten out maybe... and then the news from one day to the next that he had a live-in-gf

since my ex has ended the R with OW

ha! that bubble didnt' last long huh? stbx's R with ow ended after 7mths, once it wasnt' a forbidden delicious secret the "magic' was gone... all too common

I don't really know how he expects to keep a lady around when he lies right off the bat.

He is looking to fill that void that only soul-searching can fill, that only God can fill. He has lied for so long and given up any decency he had left, so lying isn't so bad, he *has* to look good, try to be a knight in shining armour.

I also am puzzled by why he wants the life he once had.

He had to have painted your M in dark colors for him to be searching for what he indeed already had. Sounds to me that he has depression, depressed people (much like stbx) keep trying to change the circumstances/people in effort to fill the void they have,--but since they are not addressing the main issue (themselves) the will keep searching for bandaids that will work for a little while but later they find themselves bored and look for something else.

For your own good hon, reduce the amount of time you spend talking on the phone with him, you will not heal if he keeps coming to you for emotional support (he's like a leach, just draining you for his own purposes, giving nothing).

I have experience (yey me) being separated, still the pain was too great, so I hear what you are saying about dealing with the separation and being D, it is a hard cross to bear for a while. Only strong PMA will pull you through, you must decide and tell your brain you WILL be alright, that you WILL leave the pain behind.
I really want you to read "healed without scars", it helped me big time during those first months after I signed the legal sep. (my D papers will be coming soon, as soon as he gets enough $ to file which will be hard now that ow has been laid off and he is racking up debt up the wazoo with his cc).

Make an effort to shorten the time you spend thinking of him, I know you think of the whole sitch 24/7, but with work and some time it you will find yourself not thinking of him for some stretches of time, that's a beginning. Pray pray for freedom of your soul, for control of your thoughts, you will do great, I believe it))))))