I'm not pursuing her/chasing her and when we do spend time together, I do try to make it pleasant and I know that she does have fun when we're together doing something as a family. We don't go out on "dates" or outings without the kids and the times she does spend over at our place, she probably gets the 3rd degree from her parents (she's 35 but they still treat her like a little kid asking where she is, why she's going out, etc. and I'm sure it bothers them quite a bit if she spends the night at our place).

The times that she is acting nicely towards me, she texts me and asks me "how's it going?" and "hi, what r u up to?" and I do respond back in a very positive manner, I want to meet her positive energy with the same so that she feels comfortable to continue talking or txting and she usually does.

Maybe I should limit my contact after what happened this weekend, limit my responses, don't show any emotion, try not to be to attentive to her and only respond in a minimal matter.

After a year+ of being separated and truthfully only recently applying techniques like these books (I also purchased a program from Mort Fertel, anyone have any experience with his stuff?).

Do I smother her in kindness and be super nice to her all the time even if she gets angry and gives me attitude and acts poorly?

I read somewhere on this site about dating other people to make your spouse jealous - any thoughts on this? Is this safe? Does it work?

I also read somewhere that you should apply these divorce busting techniques for a year and after that, if you haven't gotten back together, you know you tried your best and should proceed with getting a divorce. My wife has initiated filing for divorce and I get the feeling that if left to her initiative she could possibly leave this as is forever and I'm certainly not cool with that. Spending years in limbo rather than enjoying a loving relationship is not my choice on how to spend my life and probably doesn't set a good example for our children either.

I have rec'd my books: the divorce remedy and divorce busting, they read "step by step" instructions to get your spouse back but going through them, they are more or less a list of examples of other couples, I don't see the step by step instruction part that she is referring to (I could be blind).