Hi Davidswife, Thanks for visiting me. I am so sorry you are being served. That's just the pits. It's a wonder how these spouses can go from one extreme to another. Have a good lawyer? Someone who believes in the snail process and won't charge an arm and a leg? You must be an extremely strong person to have to work with H and OW and still function everyday. You have my respect. Praying for you.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
Hi PM, I know you must be tired -- posting at 5:00 am but calling me "davidswife" instead of hope...lol...
This is the pits. I am down about receiving the actual papers. Between being served and Valentine's day next Saturday -- welcome to depression week.
I hope my lawyer will be good. I got some recommendations and want somebody to fight the good fight for me. I want the snail process.
I am not a strong person but right now I have to be..I will not fall apart and become a victim in all ofthis.
How is everything going in your sitch? We are all sisters that have come together on this board that want reconcillation of our M. Some days this is the only thing that I have.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
So sorry about the name mixup. I am not myself this week, as you have probably read on my post. Sorry.
I know what you mean about Valentine's day. It's the decorations and the ads everywhere. I wish they would all shut up about it. What is worse is that we know our H's would be celebrating with someone else. Yuk! And the worse thing is that my H proposed to me on Valentine's Day so you get the idea of why it's so hard for me.
Back to you, papers. Papers are just papers. What is his attitude like lately? Is he still in total fog or is he miserable sometimes? Or are you so detached that you don't care (which is a good thing too)?
I have been reading more posts in MLC and it's helping me with understanding H's actions. Maybe some of it would help you too. Patience, serving papers doesn't mean final D. Final D doesn't mean it has to be forever. Think Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Only death is final, everything else is negotiable.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
hi, I have gone no contact with H for the last 2.5 weeks. I see him at a couple of meetings but try and sit behind him and walk out immediately after the meeting.
He has not seen D15 since 12/22. I will be sending e-mail about some financial stuff but just detaching.
Your right, there are so many people that get D and end back together. We have been M 21 years and it has been so rough for our family. Absolutely hate this but God is pulling me through it one day at a time.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hope, you are extremely strong. Good for you for detaching and deciding that he has hurt you enough. You will come out of this a better person than you were before.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
Hi PM, I have no choice in this and with God's help I need to become a better person. I know the mistakes I have made in my M, and I know that H has moved on to OW but bringing his same issues into their R. I know the end result (I am living it right now).
I still pray for reconcillation but not the same M but the way it should be.
How are you doing?
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
How is the cloak & dagger act going? Has the sherrif caught up with you? I think you are doing well considering all the stuff you are going through. Hang in there.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Good day (and I have chosen to make it a good day!)
Well 8:01, I hear the doorbell ring. No it was not Avon calling but the civil processor coming by to serve me officially.
I open the door very graciously and said I guess these are the divorce papers? The civil processor (Joe) says I apologize that I am the one that has to deliver these to you. Days like this I do not like my job.
Guess my voicemail to him saying that "I liked your bible passage Phil 4:13 on your business card"; which when I looked it up said I can do everything through Him who gives me strength but my own personal one at this time is Malachi 2:16 - God hates divorce".
We had a nice chat actually under the circumstances. I told Joe my husband has been cheating on me and he is the one that wants the divorce after 21 years of marriage. Joe said this will only worsen his problems, I see this all the time. Then he says I looked up the court that is assigned your case and the judge there looks down on adulterers if that helps you at all~ Ole Joe took the time to see who was handling this even with me hiding out and making him stop at my house 3x. I wished him a good day and he left and I swear he looked like he was ready to cry. Very surreal.
Now the reality is I have 20 days to respond (actually 22 since the 20th day falls on a Saturday - I was aware of that also) which gives me till March 2 for first snail attack.
Kat727 and all of my DB friend thanks for all of your support on this board. I actually feel good that I accepted these papers when I chose not when H thought he was going to ambush me.
One step at a time with God's good grace.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Now the reality is I have 20 days to respond (actually 22 since the 20th day falls on a Saturday - I was aware of that also) which gives me till March 2 for first snail attack.
You can actully slow it down even more. Before I even hired an L I called H's L and asked for an extension. I just told him I needed more time to plan my response. He gave me another 30 days. If you already have your L he can do this for you.
This can be the first of many "snail attacks".
Good Luck!
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Hi Silver Fox, haven't seen you on line for awhile. Hope you are doing ok. Well how can we be if we are both here!
I love that idea. I will ask my atty saying i am trying to get D15 set with doctor appts (she has been getting migraines - all true), lets see what he says. I appreciate it. thanks k
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
