WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 2

[confusedinpa]

At the last counseling session what came up was when she was 8, her father cheated on her mom. He left and her mom took him back a few months later. He did it again almost immediately, it sounded like in the span of a year he left 3 times (with the third for good).

She also sees her mom as weak as she kept taking him back (and she still professes her love for her dad, even though he has since remarried).

Also, her dad was a volunteer fireman so he would often leave abruptly. After he left, he didn't come by to support her or her family. When he would say he would stop by, he often wouldn't show up.

What's interesting also is that even now, when he says he's going to come by, she wouldn't tell our kids until he actually calls to say he is inroute (or sometimes not even until he rings the bell). I never noticed that before.

Perhaps I should bring that up in the session.

How about this:

This last four weeks have been very hard.

I can see how frustrated/angry I made her feel when I didn't show any interested in supportting her emotionally (again to acknlowdge how she felt, but direct the emotion to her current emtions).

Its just as frustrating for me now as she has said that logically it makes sense to try again, but her emotions(anger/hurt/pain) are preventing her from trying to find love for someone who hurt her so badly.

Perhaps that's how she felt when her dad kept letting her down but I'm not her dad.

She has also said that it is hard for her to look for support from someone who hurt her so badly, but I want her to know I'm a working on being a better person and I want to be there for her.

What do you think?