I'll admit, I almost threw myself a pity party on Saturday night, but then I remembered your posts and I got up and started working on some long overdue projects around the house. You know what? I felt better afterwards! WP
That's wonderful!!! I find that too, if I'm feeling low or bummed, that if I just do the things I do when I'm happy, keep busy, spend time with friends, do some GALing, do something fun with the kids, then I wind up actually being happy. Now that I've figured that out, it only took me about 40 years!!!, it really helps! Glad you had a great weekend! Karen
I am so happy that you had a great weekend. I just goes to show that the strategies work, and work for ourselves. If we take care of ourselves, the rest just falls in place.
I just want to thank you all for the support and encouragement. It is so amazing how people I've never met and only exist to me in cyberspace can be such a positive force in my life at such a difficult time. My goal is to that for the entire week. This week is our D's 5th b-day, so it is very important to me that she have a wonderful time and that we all create a great family memory. I am trying very hard to "act as if" and stay positive and upbeat around my W no matter what's going on inside. We're coming up on a three day weekend so wish me luck!
I'm so happy for you that you are doing well. Acting as if is the best thing you can do for yourself. Focus on your D and enjoy her day. I'm glad that you are feeling all of the support that is out here. I look forward to your posts as well. The advice and insight is invaluable.
You can reach my new thread on the bottom of this post. Thanks for checking up on me.
I'm really anxious and nervous right now. I just got a call from my W, I could tell she was down, so I asked her if she was doing all right. She said no and that she wanted to talk to me tonight. Didn't want to get into it over the phone. In my gut I feel that she is going to finally say that she's decided for sure to file. I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach. I don't know why I'm so bothered by this, she's moving out at the end of the month, she hasn't done anything more than just act like my friend (in a WAS sort of way), so I should expect this but I am nervous and upset. We had some really good family times the past week or so. On Monday she even cooked me dinner. She's been saying she wished we could win the lottery so that we could travel together and "just be" without trying. But I just don't think that what she wants to talk about tonight is her wanting to get back together. Tomorrow is our D's 5th b-day, and I don't want to ruin it for her, but I am afraid of how I will react if my W says she's decided to file. What should my response be? I love her with all my heart and I still cry about losing her at least once a day. I'm just not ready for this. I know that when I am hurt I respond with very hurtful things, which I don't want to do tonight, but I'm afraid I won't be able to control my emotions. Please give me some guidance.
WP - first of all, hugs to you. I know this is be so hard. Some people would probably tell you not to jump to conclusions just yet, but I would be thinking the same thing as you (about why she wanted to talk). But just to look at it from another angle, do you think your W would actually bring up a conversation about filing for D the day before your D's birthday? If that is what she wanted to discuss, would she wait a couple days until after the b-day?
As far as advice, I can only tell you to try as hard as you possibly can to not say hurtful things, if indeed she does say she is going to file. If you hurt her, it will only add to the reasons she has in her mind for wanting to divorce you. Not sure if you drink alcohol or not, but what if you had a glass of wine or a beer before the talk? I did that once before I had a talk with my hubby. I do think it mellowed me out a bit and allowed me to say the things I needed to say and not be so emotional.
If she indeed says she wants a divorce, I would say something like "if you really feel a divorce is what you want, then I won't stop you, even though it is not what I want. If you are at all uncertain about it, then do not file just yet. Please be sure about this."
