If her whole issue is not being able to "get over" how badly you hurt her, then she needs to concentrate on that in her therapy sessions. She has to learn "forgiveness" and move past what she perceives has been her hurt.
Was she abused as a kid by other males in her life? Sometimes it's not even you but you represent something very painful from her past that has been buried inside her.
Until she understands that part of her, then she's not going to budge from the "you hurt me so i can't move on" phase. My W was the same way. Give her space and stop initiating kisses! There's my 2x4. When you're not around she can stop blaming you for everything. She'll soon learn that she is the one who chooses to be miserable and that you are not the root cause of everything.
By wanting a D she's really running away from her own issues rather than facing them.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
