Episode IV: A New Hope (?)

[dday101798]

Game Over.

STBX showed with scumbag, both dressed like the pride of the trailor park.

She got an attorney, I assume by filing the income taxes.

Everyone in the house showed up, on her side, for what I don't know, never got that far.

We're back to the do I have kids tonight or not until......

The good news, SHE FILED!

Claims on the grounds of "mental cruelty". She filed for sole custody, child support, attorney's fees the whole nine yards.

Blah, atleast this will soon be all over with.

[dday101798]

Just a quick update.

Haven't seen the kids since court, "room-mate" and BIL were never around to do as they agreed and be a 'go-between' so that I could talk to/and make arranegments with the boys. That combined with the constant backstabbing and discussions behind my back, things came to a head. I did however get a chance to talk to S12 on his birthday Saturday.

FIL kept calling wanting money. Of which I told him, I have none, I'm leaving the house as outlined in the certified letter sent over 2 months ago, I need to fight for my kids. He says "whatever". Well, low and behold when it comes down to realizing I'm taking action the mood sure changes. Friday night I went to my cousins to finalize a plan for moving, Saturday, took advantage of the loan I got, bought a nice cheap truck. Saturday night, returned to the house and immediately every one starts asking questions. My reply, "my life has been in boxes well over a month, what do you think is going on?".

So, I get the first load on and over to my cousins. Upon returning to the house and opening the door, there's big bad ol FIL huffing away, drunk off my beer and being completely delussional and bulidgerant. I mean I've only been saying for 2 months, I'm out, I'M FIGHTNING FOR MY CHILDREN, what do you not understand? Then he kept insisting for money that was owed for the past 2 months, of which was paid, and he yells "where's your proof", of which I can only reply, yeah, where is my proof? You won't take a check, and you won't give recepts, how convenient, isn't it?

I would have loved if he would have gone through with just one of the lovely things he claimed to want to do. Apparently there was a shread of common sense in there somewhere as he didn't, although there's supposidly a contract on me, hah! Go ahead buddy.

But man, nobody waisted anytime, "room-mate" was all moved into my bedroom by the end of the day and locks changed. So, I'm currently out about 3 grand worth of tools in the garage. Oh, well, at least for now I am free of that place. Still have to figure the utilities out, but hey.

Now, here's the funny part. As I'm getting caught up on work today and am in the middle of a teleconference, I get a call on my cell phone from the PD. I figured it's some new bogus claim having to do with something on the house (of which the police station was the first place I went to after getting all my stuff out). So, instead of backing my self up workwise I figured I'd just return the call on lunch. No dice, my work phone rings, it's the same police officer, wants to know how i'm doing today and how I'm feeling. I say fine, why, what can I do for you? "Well, sir, your estranged wife is here in the station and we have concerns for your well being". I say, i'm sorry I don't follow? He says "well, she came in with what appears to be an apparent suicide letter".

Immediately I realize what he's talking about and start to chuckle, and say, no-no, that's on a notepad probably found in the kitchen right? He says "yes, kind of looks like music lyrics if you ask me" and I said that's exactly what it is, and the last page was my notes I was taking down for when I have my insurances and Will re-written after everything is all said and done with the divorce. Best damn laugh I've had recently. After clearing that up I asked if she was still standing there an if so could he relay the message that I'd like to see my kids, he complied and reviewed the new O.O.P. and says it seems that we (her and I) can speak directly again so long as she does so in a civil manner. I figured it best that I confer with counsel first and he agreed.

The part I can't fathom, even if it were "suicidal" what does she care? She's still the beneficiary to everything?

heheh,

one no. 2 pencil: $0.25
pad of paper: $1.95
complete misunderstanding: PRICELESS

[LonelyD]

I am no expert on this, just the suffering fool, but one thing i do now know, the farther away you get, the harder they appear to look. In sitch's from this site, the women who seem to go back are with the men who basically start to move on, without recognition of them. My "I don't care attitude" has been noticed by my kids. Not as a not caring, but they seem to see me more confident, more focused and more fun.

I need to keep this attitude going. I feel really good today. comparatively speaking tha tis. got up early, made my bed which I haven't been doing. I have been just slobbing it. Have more energy since my decisions, you seem to be the same. Its a sort of strength thing we gain as we start to see and believe our independence even more. Good luck buddy...

[dday101798]

Hey brother,

More energy, that's an understatement. I feel absolutely great. I never thought I'd like being out of that town, but now that I am, I don't know where to start by saying how much of a relief it is. Funny enough, I so far still shop at the grocery store there and what not, and drive through it on my way to work as it is the fastest route.

But the simple fact of being miles away from there feels so good. Everybody at work has taken notice of a big change in how I feel.

Then there's the flip side of the coin, with life starting to pan out and the fog over a new road starting to lift, I have dreampt of her now every night. Just us having peaceful conversations and whatnot. The one I had last night was of us in court and we both looked at each other's notes and they were virtually in identical format and we both laughed and hugged about it, right there at the stand and pissed the judge and attorneys off.

It just makes me wonder, was she really telling some sort of the truth of how she felt about me? Was all the crying at the last hearing for the realization of what is about to happen? Why the conern over what I wrote? With these odd displays, will she really go through with it?

Reality is, the opportunity to turn this around is getting narrower and narrower. And you may be right, she may very well had been telling the truth at new years in fears I may actually leave. And now, she may actually be scared of the fact, I'm out of the house, it's no longer 'ours' and I no longer have a tie to her family. And, lastly, that now I'm free of that house, it's a major step toward independence of the marriage she claims to no longer want.

Anyway, I'm really hoping to see my kids tonight. Got S12 a few video games and what not for his birthday that i couldn't even see him on. For some odd reason, I expect her to make contact today, versus me having to go through the attorneys to arrange dinner with them.

[dday101798]

Ooohhhhh man,

Since I have to get through an attorney today, I thought I'd post this up as it sent a chill up my spine.


Horoscope from the Chicago Tribune
Gemini: 8. Without too much more effort your objective can be achieved. You're relying on others now. Make sure they know what you want them to do. May 21-June 21

[dday101798]

Well,

Think I have my attorney matters straightend out, found a reputable one with a retainer I may be able to scoundge up in time for when this gets moving in court.

I called her attorney a couple of times yesterday in regards to not seeing my boys. No repply, go figure.

Shut the utility accounts in my name down.

Finally cracked 10 minutes before having to leave work and called her directly. I really have to get my bearings staight on what's what with all these court papers. She claims she already has sole custody, wasn't the case when I spoke with her attorney on the 5th. And then she proceeded to rub it in my face that I could have had my visitation with the boys all along, but "you must not care about them since you haven't gone through someone to see them". I kept it cool and calm and only sid, you know the ones who agreed to do so, and you know they did not comply with that agreement. She denied me dinner sighting that they going out shopping, kinda pissed me off and I said they can go shopping any other day, you know today is and has been the day I'd like to have them. Still refused.

She then repeatedly sighted the fact she seems to think she already has custody with a snighed attitude to which I said whatever. She then said that she'd "NEVER keep a parent from their child". At least she let me speak with them. She first gave the phone to S12 and we talked, he sounds well, he was upset about dinner (again) and all the while we were speaking, she put on her best effort for me to hear her sobbing in the background.

S12 handed the phone over to S10 who was far less receptive of the call. This would lead me to believe she's been pumping their heads of 'look at your wonderful daddy, he won't even take the time to see you crap'. So, I'm trying to ask him how school is going and his prijects we started on, but yet I kept getting interupted by "(S12) wants to know were your living now", "(S12)wants to know your address".

This so bites, her dang attorney better call me back today.

So, I finished up with S10 and he asked if I wanted to speak with mom again, of which I said no. Was half tempted to go to dinner by myself, but thought better of it, it would probably end up leading to an ambush as FIL and everyone in 'the house' knows that I have been going even whithout the kids.

Went straight 'home', had a few beers with my cousin, made a salad and pizza for us and that was it. My stress level has gone significantly since getting out of there. Got up with no problems or thoughts of what transpired last night and here I am at work, refreshed and ready to go. Will have a hard night with my cousin tonight as this is the second anniversary of her H passing. really wanted to spend time doing some more 'unpacking' tonight but I think making sure she's okay is more important.

Well, off to the daily races.

[dday101798]

Ouch my head.

My cousin and I hung out last night and downed a few, was nice and she enjoyed the company.

Otherwise,

Finally heard from W's attorey, she says until I file my response she (attorney) can't talk to me. Whatever lady, I haven't seen my kids now in 3 weeks, I wasn't even allowed to see my son on his birthday and you won't lift a finger? Time to find a way to get nasty.

Going to e-mail FIL that I want my tools back, I figure I'll attach a copy of the letter I sent outlining everything I was removing and request a date and time for pickup. Guess I should also mention that I had the utility accounts terminated, but I don't think they actually do a complete shut off at this time of year, so not sure how that works.

My stupid cell phone is dead and the company is sending a replacement by next Tuesday so I have to check my voicemails remotely and don't have anyone's phone numbers. The former 'house-mates' babysitter and 'friend' that I was thinking of moving with called last night, hmmm, wonder what all the hub-bub is about?

Anyway, doing well. Looking forward to getting settled in at last tonight and a nice queit weekend. Going to chekc the local papers for a part time gig since I'll have a ton of extra time on my hands for a bit and NEED the cash.

[dday101798]

Well, as much as I don't like to borrow, I got a personal loan to retain the attorney!!!!!

Tell me I can't see my kids? BIG mistake.

I am on cloud 9 right now.

[dday101798]

Thinking I'm gonna move over to the "Survivng the big D" forum.

Slept like crap last night and hed repeated 'dreams' of what may/may not happen with the court.

Week 3 with no kids for dinner last night. i went anyway, took a friend and her daughter since they are going through a bit of a hard time and figured they'd like to get out of their house for a bit.

Wouldn't you know it, BIL and his doper friends all came in. Little back-stabbing maggot couldn't even look me in the face as he walked right by me.

So, this morning I had a few extra minutes and took a dive by of "the house", looks terrible already, curtains in the window are all in shambles and the porch and yard is a disgrace.

Then as I get to the main intersection of town, low and behold here comes STBX and OM and she stares me dead in the face and her jaw just drops. Haha, love that effect.

Otherwise, holding together okay as can be. Talking to attorney tonight to establish a temporary visitation order that she cannot dis-obey. As it stands she's basically violated the prerequisite to dissolution by hiding behind people who won't co-operate as agreed and withholding the kids from me.

Sad part is, each and every time I'm asked, "do you want the divorce" my answer still is no. I think I need my head examined.

[dday101798]

"Gemini (May 21-June 21): 7. You've run the gantlet, taken a lot of abuse, overcome your fears and, basically, made it through. You may not be all the way there yet, but celebrate how far you've come."

Words so true, made my appointment, meeting the attorney on Monday, not saying much more, suspecting STBX has been tracking my side of the sitch through the forum!

But yes, I have come a long way and taken my abuse, now it's time to celebrate, cheers all, have a nice weekend.