Need some answers from posters in this forum......

[PositivelyMommy]

Hi brandnewday,

I am a LBS but I may have some insight into your question. There are some people who look for activities to fill the void in themselves, like gambling or shopping or scrapbooking. Some look for a substance like booze or drugs. While others will look for relationships to fill this void. A lot of women will turn to their family and girlfriends. There are a subgroup who will look for male companionship to fill this void. What we all know when we are sober and thinking clearly is that there is a clear line in companionship with the opposite sex. But when one is under stress, that fine line can be crossed. Or when one person is feeling lonely, the begin to lean heavily on the other person. Then before they know it, they are dependent on the other person.
In my experience dependence often turn into something bigger. Think about it, do you have a friend that you depend on more than others, do you feel closer to that friend? I think it's built into our psyche from when we were babies. We feel closer to those who we depend on. Some people would interpret that as love.

So what we have is a situation that a woman or man suddenly find themselves 'fallen in love' with a third party.

Could they have prevented it? Yes definitely. Did they ask for it, maybe or maybe not. But when something like this happens, there is no excuse because WE ALL know the rules and we all know where the line is. Anything else is an excuse and shouldn't be accepted by the betrayed spouse. Can forgiveness come from this situation, it depends on the people.

But I think that's how most affairs start. It's by people who go out looking for help from other people. I think really everyone should look to their spouse or family or someone from the same sex for advice and comfort. Stop playing with fire, they know they are playing with it and are surprised to find that they can get burned.