WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 2

[confusedinpa]

Spellfire & Stuck808

I appreciate your encouragement. When my last thread got locked, I thought I had lost my support.

I have been going to see a therapist to work on me - although we spent most of the time talking about what in my past caused me to ignore/neglect my spouse emotionally. What came out of that is that I'm trying to enjoy life a little more. Mostly I've been trying with my wife and 2 boys.

I haven't gotten as far as going out with friends. I don't have many local friends - most of mine were girls before we met which she put a stop to very quickly - and our current local friends are her's. I do have 2 that I've been using as my support as well. One is a female who is married and a 1.5 year old so can't really go out with her. The other is a husband and wife where I left a couple of hours early last 2 fridays to go over and chat. My other close friend was my neighbor who moved a few months ago - he's married and I haven't talked to him about what's happened.

I did start to work out lightly on Sunday - I dusted off my weights and heavy bag - for about 10 minutes.

I had actually started to think about looking for a new job in a different city to start fresh, but I know that's also not the answer.

I am trying to take a stronger position yesterday. I'm not sure if it's working (plus I'm sure it's too early to tell) as this morning I got a hug but just a check for the kiss. We chatted about how she felt/slept last nite - she slept on the couch. She said fine except when I had startled her when I came down to give her an extra blanket. I told her I woke up because I heard her stirring alot and I was freezing so I brought down the extra blanket. I don't think she appreciated it as she said that she was fine and there were plenty of other blankets in the family room. Oh well, I guess it was just another weak moment.

Before I left I walked up to steal a kiss - I got half of a lip.

It's early, but I suspect I will have to tweak my stronger approach a little bit.