I came home for two weeks but my wife still feels like we need more time apart so either I have to move out or she says she will. Here is where we are now. It is no where near where I had hoped or even thought.
We have been separated for 6 months. She wants 12 more with a 6 month re-evaluation. She wants me to prove my emotional and financial stability before she commits to marriage again. She even wants me to show her my debt and bank statements every month so that we can come up with a determined amount that my debt will be reduced as a goal. I have to keep the job I have or move on to one with better pay and see a therapist and really take care of myself. That all shows me that she is serious and not being vague anymore. That is good right?
She says she wants to be happily married to me but that she will not be able to do it unless I prove this to her.
She says she will show me no encouragement along the way because she wants me to prove that I don't need her. She has always felt I depend on her too much.
As far as her affair which happened after we separated. She said she will not sleep with that guy again but she will continue to be his friend. I trust her because she has always told me the truth.
This is very one sided and it feels cruel. I can do the financial thing but a rigid 6 months with no love from her seems to be opposite of the reason to save the marriage.
She said that she really really wants me to succeed and wants to be my wife. She said she will forgive me and ask me to forgive her and do all she can to make my pain go away if I can do this.
I think I can do this but it seems almost too business like, is that okay?
