"I just can't seem to find a part of me that doesn't have to do with him, does that make sense?"
This is why we all fall down.
I know you don't want to hear this right now.. but this little "thing" you are going thru right now.. will make you a better person.. win or "lose".
I know you have heard it.. or read it a million times.. but time is your "friend" right now.
"H texted tonight asking if he could take the kids out to ice cream. I called him and said that would be fine, they would love it. I should have known better. He ambushed me."
So.. I think what you said was.. you knew there was gonna be some "Drama"... and there was.
"First thing he did when he got over is ask me if I had contacted an attorney. I haven't so I said no. I asked why, he said he wanted to get this over with and file. Then he asked if I had looked into moving into an apartment and if I wanted to give up the house."
I did not see if he has served papers yet.. has he?
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.