Right now I think we both need time and space to sort through our feelings. For me, I need to decide if I can move on from the A and if I want to put the work into rebuilding our R with her. And she needs to decide if she can forgive herself and find enough strength to work on our marriage.
That's a great plan, IF she is going to use the time and "space" to be truly introspective and figure out what she wants. Unfortunately, 90% of the time it's just a euphemism for "time and space in which to conduct/try to re-ignite my affair, unencumbered."
But, as you said, you really can't control her, and this is her journey to make.
