Letter and words are all fine and great, but let her show you with her actions.
No contact for a month, huh? What is the point of that? To give her the opportunity to turn to someone else? Make sure. I really don't think it's a good idea, but maybe it's just me.
You need to decide if you can move on from the A? I am biased here, so please forgive me. You've known for how long now that there was an A. AND YOU HAVE BEEN ON THIS SITE TO SAVE YOUR M. But now, you need to step back and reevaluate??? I'm not getting it. I feel like you should already know, deep down, whether you want this marriage to work. It seems so simple to me, really. It's even a yes/no answer! If you do, then you do the work, no questions asked. If you don't, then what was the friggin point of the last month? Why did you waste your energy here? Why did you waste our time and effort?
(Because you want the marriage to work.)
And my advice, if that is what you want, is to make sure and tell your wife that explicitly before you send her off on this 30 day no contact nonsense. If you want to work on the M, you need to tell her that you will work to forgive her just as she works to forgive herself. She also will need to agree to total transparency, which she probably won't appreciate, but which you need. If she is being sincere, she will agree.
Maybe I am way off base, but this 30 days just sounds ridiculous.
I'm sure someone will come in and correct me, though!
Melissa
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
