Reading your post makes me realize how so many of the problems in my own M have been my fault. As I withdrew from her she lost her trust in me and the "energy" in our M was gone.
As our resentment for each other grew it made it impossible for us to be close again. I'm working very hard to get past my resentment but I don't know what to do to help W get past hers. The damage was done to both of us.
I feel about my W as you feel about your H. Only half of the damaged M is actively working to find a way back together. If only the other half would make a tiny bit of effort to meet us it could be done, we could get there so easily.
For now her resentment remains and I have to just ignore it somehow as I work on myself.
