Lol...Kass, today was my last day at my old job, so I am having a glass or 2 of red wine. I also have a party to go to tomorrow that will go on until the early hours, I need the practice!!!
Pearl, I actually answered two. H usually leaves me lots of messages. I think he has accepted that I may or may not answer and doesn't realize that I have been screening them. I don't answer and let it take a message, then I wait awhile before listening, if i hear a certain tone, I have been deleting it without listening to the whole message. I told him last week that I have become afraid of seeing his name show up on my phone and/or messages. I explained that I am not listening to them. So now, every message begins with, I am not trying to scare you.... Sometimes I wonder how he got where he is at work or that he ever made it through life.
With the VDay thing, I think it reminds us of what we had once, lost and want to see again. I wonder sometimes if I have reached a place where I don't believe in love or happily ever after. AM I getting jaded or too old.
Silva, You go man! Have a ball! Celebrate a new path, new friends, new way of living! I usually drink red wine, tonight I am treating myself to chocolate martinis and trying to unwind. Still very bothered by last night and today. But you know, practice makes perfect! Or at least it is fun trying to get there.
I hear you on being jaded. I think I've already reached that place. I can't imagine ever going through this again, it's just not worth it to me. I've told my friends I've sworn off relationships. Not men, just love. After all, I'm not crazy!
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Kass, Chocolate Martinis? I have GOT to try one of them (psst, what are they?)
I'm on day, hmm, dunno, of NC. I feel better than ever, I actually hope that before too long I will be able to re-establish contact, without feeling nauseous. The NC for me is not to make my W miss me or wonder what I'm doing, it's to allow me to heal and detach. So far it's working. Don't get me wrong, I still have down times, but they are much more manageable now.
Pearl, glad you've not given up on men! We aren't all bad ya know Kass, don't you give up on us either!
I'm on day 7 - my record so far! There has been a couple of contacts, but for kids only. Other stuff has been sort of knocking me about a bit - but I have resisted all urges.
Actually, I'm sort of with Silva - thinking of contacting W makes me almost sick - sad, but probably indicative of the future!
Mmmm, chocolate martinis. My friend down the street makes wicked ones.
Good going JD, keep resisting!
I'm thinking of blowing off meeting with xBF tomorrow, just don't see what I would get out of it. He can come over to check out the house and the cats but I don't need to be here for that.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Choc martinis is my way of treating myself recently. I got the recipe on line and it serves my chocolate craving at the same time.
Pearl - do what you need to do. Be comfortable, if you don't have a reason for the meeting why see him? See him on your grounds not his. He doesn't know what he is doing - you are figuring it out - my bet is on you to know what to do better than he.
JD - The martinis aren't wicked if you are careful in counting. They can be seductive, but I tend to have a special radar when drinking that keeps things under control. Sorry to hear you are having a rough time - in the right place though. I think we are all having a tough week. Just know it gets better and easier.
Silva, great point brought up... NC allows healing so that we can have contact without all the anger,and hurt that has been part of our recent pattern of alienation. I just wish it lasted longer than the first contact. Guess I am still soothing wounds.
I have kept my cell phone off since last night - he can call the house phone but hasn't in months - i guess he recognizes that if the cell if off i don't want contact. Having time now to reflect on what i want to see happen for myself and M.
Details on my thread, but here's the rundown: wasn't home when xBF came over today. He wants to get together for dinner this week. I have plans for 2-3 evenings this week, heading to Vegas on Fri and am currently in bed battling a cold that I must get rid of before then!
I don't really want to see him but not so much that I'm going out of my way to avoid him. I think that's a pretty good sign of detaching.
Not sure what he wants, if he just wants to check in to assuage his guilt or if he wants to talk about serious splitting up assets stuff.
Thoughts?
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
I think that you should do what YOU want. I know you are looking for help here. That's the best I can give you. If it were me, I would keep well away. You don't need a meal to talk assets. You can do that by letter if you have to.
It all depends on how you are feeling about meeting. If there is a knot in your stomach then maybe you are NOT ready for talking just yet. In my case, I want to get to a place where I can talk to my W without ANY worries. Then I'll be totally objective about the conversation and if it goes somewhere I don't like, I can just walk away with no bother. That's MY goal though, what's yours??
Don't get me wrong, I still have down times, but they are much more manageable now.