Please, please please listen to SRTTF. It's true. It's the same thing I was saying. It in no way justifies an affair. NOTHING does. Life happens though. We take care of everything while ya'll are gone. I worked full time. I went to school for my master's full time. I took care of the kids/dog/cat full time. I did the yard. I built D4 a new wooden swingset. I took care of the house. I paid the bills. I also told him "everything was fine" until right at the end because it was my military wifely duty. His parents never came to help. My parents never came to help. His shop stopped by one time to check on me. His buddy stopped by one time to check on me. His 1st shirt and the colonel's wife stopped by my work 1 time to drop off a giant cookie for Valentine's day. Other than that, I never saw or heard from ANYONE. All my friends were at work with me. I didn't go to the movies. I never got a sitter except if I needed to go to class. He sent one box home mostly with stuff for the kids at Valentine's Day. I am guilty of not sending a box over to him, but look at all the stuff I was doing for him at home!!! I was exhausted. Then he'd call every few days and never ask how I really was or even act like he cared. It was all about how he was having a great time cooking. He never seemed miserable like he really missed us although he said he did. I never felt it. I still don't think he had a grasp of what kind of load he left on me.
It's not doing all this stuff that leads to divorce. It's doing all this stuff, becoming resentful, complaining to someone who listens, who thinks you are amazing for it, and recognizes everything you are doing when NO ONE else does. THAT is what leads down this dark path. I wish you luck. DB is the good book, I think At least she has slowed down a little. I still think she is having an A. But at least she is slowing down some, or appears to be. I don't think it will last, though. I think once she is out, if you don't DB your butt off, she will come to you in 2-3-4 weeks and tell you she has experienced being by herself and wants a divorce. I dunno.
Fingers are crossed for you.
Melissa
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
