Hi Lisa, Wait, did you file for divorce? Did you tell H that you wanted a divorce? Or have you just decided?
I'm at the same point. I'm holding tight that the next time I see H that I'm going to tell him I want one. He isn't w/ The Horse, but they are still friends and I know he is in love with her.
I still cry though. But I realize what we have now is familiarity, not love and friendship is pretty lacking.
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
Michelle- yes, a couple of possibilities for jobs. Fingers crossed (unless you're in a tub for two!)
naej- don't be sad. I'm not.... I'd say I'm just a bit more cautious. I want someone who really wants me and isn't scared to pick up the phone and ask me out on a date. I'm not scary, so I think that out there must be a guy who's got the balls to do it!
Beth- how are you? It's nice to see you. I've got the D papers, and yes, I told H I was going to file them. I was a bit annoyed at the time, so the first pass telling wasn't elegant. Later I told him that I'd spent the longest time hoping and wishing he'd come home because I thought we'd had a good relationship and I'd have moved heaven and earth to make him happy. I said that I was really sad and that it wasn't what I wanted, but I accepted that he'd made a brave decision by leaving and if he was happy I was happy too. He cried, but didn't say anything that would indicate a change of heart....
I hope you manage to find the right way to tell your H. Great news that he's not with the Horse now though- is he grieving with the possibility for a reconciliation? I'm so sad to hear you only feel familiarity. I'd say that I still love my H, as a good friend, and I see him as a friend aswell. I guess I should be grateful that DBing helped me salvage that from our R.
So, I'm having a pretty busy day today- had to go and get my car battery changed this morning, and this afternoon I'm visiting a few of my friends. At 6pm I have a teleconference with CEO and some of my other colleagues to discuss the investment proposal for Tuesday, and at some point I also have to do some interview prep for an assessment centre tomorrow. I LOVE being busy- I feel like I'm smiling inside.....
.... apart from the bit that spends all her time processing signs (or the absence thereof) from CEO and wondering.
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
Lisa good luck tomorrow, not that you will need luck. Maybe if your not working for CEO he might change tactics or shift up a gear-who knows.
I guess the above re H and the D talk was done face to face. Will you still go out for drinks and meals with him? I can't believe he didn't say anything. It is all so civilised, thats what got me so mad with my x. I said I must have had the quietest D in history. I guess I didn't have your class. Battery changed on a Sunday! our shop shuts at 12.00 on a Sunday.
You do sound so together and detached. Enjoy your day.
Lisa-- If H were to ask, we were the best of friends. I've been able to break down my feelings:
Feelings about H & Horse: I hate her. I can't help it and know I should hate him, but I hate her. The idea of him being with her makes me sick. Why? Probably because it reminds me of our break up. Knowing that she was the OW to an overweight, wealthy man in his late '50s prior to H, and some other things I've heard about her personality, just also makes me hate her.
Feelings about H and any other woman: H has been dating and we talk about it. I am genuinely happy for him to be meeting new girls. When he tells me about it, I feel happy for him. Its strange, but true.
Feelings about H and Me: I love him still. I have snooped a little and that doesn't help me, it makes it worse b/c I know he isn't telling me the truth about things (his feelings about OW). I can't imagine we will ever work it out and I don't even think I want to.
Enjoy your day. It is supposed to be gorgeous here today, so I'm looking forward to getting out and about!
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
You're back and you've lost Picasso and you're going to D your H... My head is spinning!
I know that you're going to be very happy. You deserve the best and you will have the best. If I could, I'd feel sorry for your H. I wonder how much time it will take for him to realize he's lost a treasure.
((((hugs))))
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
I'm sorry you had THAT conversation and he cried.. but didnt change his mind. You sound like you have worked through it and come to a place of peace, depsite the disappointment of it not working out. No doubt the R with the aub wont last, sadly, as it makes what he did even more of a waste hey.
Good luck with the job stuff this week! Thinking of you, Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Beth- I was just wondering, did you ever try NC on your H? I know he was in touch a LOT, and just wondered if that might provoke some kind of response from him. And you know what to do about the snooping!
Stellitsa-mou! How nice to see you. Have you got a thread? I'll try and find you. You're very welcome to feel sorry for my H if you want to. I have no hard feelings towards him, so don't mind if people want to sympathise with him. All my friends feel a bit sorry for him; he's not a bad person. Just lost.
Ali- don't be sorry- I didn't expect him to change his mind, and it might have freaked me out a bit if he had! Having said that, this made me laugh.....
Originally Posted By: Ali
No doubt the R with the aub wont last, sadly, as it makes what he did even more of a waste hey.
....are you saying that it wouldn't have been as much of a waste if their R were to work out and they were to eventually M?! LMAO!
Handsome- I'm not sure how much biotechnology is happening in Arizona. I should look!
So, today I spent most of the afternoon working on our investment proposal. CEO and I argued about 4 times during it, and it was BRILLIANT! I LOVED being able to express annoyance and have him give it back and then know that after that everything would carry on and we'd still be friends and I wouldn't feel bad for having expressed annoyance and then have to apologise. *sigh* he is so HOT.
He's worried for me because I have to go and have some tests at the hospital, and he was very solicitous and made me lots of tea. In fact he was so worried that he didn't even bother to read a magazine piece I'd found about his best friend that was published last week. I'd forgotten what it was like to have someone genuinely worry for me. It was nice.
So, I gave him a book I'd found at the weekend from 1927- How Better Sight Without Glasses(I'm not sure if you guys remember that he had laser surgery on his eyes last September and then had an accident with one of them and couldn't see out of it for a while). Some of the techniques in the book are 'palming'- putting your palms over your eyeballs while your eyes are shut, 'swinging'- standing up and swaying from side to side to increase your nerve force, and 'blinking'- blinking deliberately and hard. It's really funny in terms of the way it's written- very quaint and sexist language, although the underlying principles are supposed to work well. He really liked it and I was glad because he was really stressed today and he's been working so hard (for no money) to try and get my position sorted out.
Hi Lisa I actually know someone who swears by those exercises and only uses glasses for very small print and he is in his 70's. Not sure they came from that book though but they sound similar.
Hope tests prove nothing to worry about, take care.
