Thanks naej. For some reason, I feel really bad at the moment. I cant go back having the same feelings I had a year ago but this time feels so stupid, like I failed to make things clear to him, believed him when I shoudnt have, opened myself up for nothing. I am ok, just amazed.
He kept saying I twist the truth around, I always have and always will. Like when I said I always hug you when you sleep here, come snuggle close to you and you are just being...friendly, patting my hands. He said he hugs me too when I fall asleep, and I am twisting the truth around by saying he doesnt. Never crossed his mind that if he does hug me when I am asleep I AM ASLEEP, damn it! Whatever...
Well, Maria. Whew! I'm sorry. Sorry that you tried so hard and lost. Sorry that he took his toll on you, and the kids. You need someone to care for you, someone to be nice. He isn't that way. Maybe he's changed through the years and was nice once, but you gave him more than enough chances and he isn't nice TO YOU. And really, that's what matters. He can be the world's greatest guy, but if he can't be nice to you, then it still won't work. I feel so bad for your kids. I can't imagine what your son did to start today's problem. But I worry that he will be deeply scarred by what happened today.
Hey Maria...sending you love and hugs, I'm so sorry, what an awful day, sounds awful.
I can hear you blaming yourself, but reading that I was shocked. I often have been when you describe your H. I stopped short in the past saying it sounded like he needed anger management help. Clearly, he has a problem with rage. And the rage at your son was probably misdirected, transferred from the anger and frustration he feels towards you and perhsps more so, himself. Please done blame yourself anymore, your H, like Sara said has not been particularly nice to you, neverlone loving. He is not even like a friend to you.. he doesnt really talk to you, unless its about work/kids, he has been thoughtless with gifts, critical, mean, angry, shouting, I could go on.. Theres no excuse for today, he is a grown man and should NOT have lost control like that, he is the adult, he didnt need to be so cruel, he could've arranged timeout, but to throw away toys.. I cant think of anything a 7 year old could do to justify that. I think his actions today speak volumes about what sort of man he has become and the blaming you and shouting that you make him look bad is nonsense.. I cant help thikning that he is a bully.
Anyway, whats the use in H bashing? If you have agreed to divorce, I'm so sorry that this it has come to this.
Al,he is not that mean, nor bad. He is just H. Sara, my son has experienced this before too many times. I hope he will not make the connection when he realises our R shifts again to something else...
I'm so sorry how things are turning out now, heres a great big (((Kalni))).
At least now you can walk away head held high and say you tried and gave it your best shot, the annoying thing is H will also claim the same when really we know his heart wasn't really in.
No much more I can say other than take care and we are thinking of you.
I have to say that taking his anger out on the kids just isn't acceptable, and that's what I think I just read. When it gets to that point I think you have to stop. We are here for you. I believe that there are better things ahead for you, as well!
Lan, it bothers me too that he will claim he tried. He even hugged me on his way in and out of the house as he said and stopped when he realised things didnt move forward... For a man that found out he cant live a balanced life without me, sure gave up fast.
Jeff, today my heart hurt and I couldnt shut up although I knew he was going to say I was poorly coparenting. I only said quietly "dont torture him, enough, stop". My son told me in the bathroom "he hates me, cant you see, he hates me mommy". Because H lost it. He was going on a crescendo, meaner and meaner with no response from S, just crying... That's what went on for 6-8 months before he moved out. Everything felt so familiar lately. His anger at the MC, his eyes, his face. I have some incidents that happened with my phone that lead me to believe he has contacted her again... K
very sorry about what transpired earlier today. wish i could say something worthwhile...something comforting. Anyway, from where I sit, you should not take the bulk of the blame. It's easy to be a Monday morning quarterback but i hinestly believe he tried to come back just to loose a little of the guilt. It is now both your fault (in his eyes) that it did not work. Thta is just my opinion...i sould be out in left field but I did not see any effort on his part whatsoever to get this thing back on track.
Ciao, Claude!! I know he will believe he tried too, but when I asked how come I didnt feel any emotion from him, he said he didnt know why I didnt. When I asked how come we havent spent any time together, he came up with that time he came to meet me after I had said I am done. He seemed puzzled there were no other times... It's like he doesnt realise what was happening. Whatever... He seemed scared when he left. Very sad and defeated. K
He came back for a WRONG reason and it didn't work.
It's not your fault.
((((hugs))))
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
