Ian, I never said it should be all peaches and cream...
So, FG, I guess you get what you wanted. Today we agreed this isn't going anywhere and we stop. We had a terrible fight with my son, 2 hours of hell in the house where we told him he would not come with us as a consequence to his actions and then later figured out we couldnt leave him back at home cause my parents couldnt babysit for him. H got furious and changed the punishment to throwing away his fav toys. He became mean and very abusive in my eyes, my D started crying saying she was scared so after 15 min of total uncontrolled yelling etc, I stopped hiding in a closet pretending I was organizing things, and told him crying (my heart was in pain) "please stop, dont torture him anymore". He was at the moment forcing S to watch him as he threw away his toys while he was begging "I cant watch, please let me go" screaming at him he has made our life hell for the last 5 years. All that while S was crying and begging.
H threw a fit at me, said I make him look bad and soon afterwards we left to go to the show. In the car, the kids fell asleep and he said "no use trying, time and money wasted" and I agreed.
We came back and when the kids went upstairs I asked him what he wants to do. First he said he didnt know, then he said "stop here, It's ok, we didnt lose anything by giving it a shot". When I objected this wasnt just "a shot" for me he said "well I felt like trying and tried".
That's when I got mad -at me- he said I've been negative and that he doesn't feel like doing anything more, so we are both to blame. He sounded relieved and said we have totally different point of views about life (heard that before).
I did ask him when did he try to make a positive move and I rejected him. I asked him what he thinks would have happened if I were lovey dovey (spel?) with him acting as if I had the memory of a goldfish and was pleasant and sweet. He said it would probably would have worked out, he doesnt know.
He left, was feeling beat and I feel like I was just used once again. K
